Sonija Kwok and Zhu Shaojie to Get Married in 2011

Sonija Kwok Sin Lei’s relationship with mainland action choreographer, Zhu Shaojie, was recently revealed and wedding bells may be in the air! Sonija uploaded a photo of herself and Zhu Shaojie on her Sina blog. Thirty-six year-old Sonija wrote, “I have waited for happiness for a long time. When I gradually forgot about this hope, this fool emerged. He said, ‘I am willing to give my life to you to bully!’ After hearing this, my tears gushed out. This is our story. ”
Allegedly, Sonija met Shaojie in July 2010 while on the set of mainland series, Palace <宫锁心玉>, which also star Maggie Shiu Mei Kei, Feng Shao Feng and Yang Mi. The action choreographer was Zhu Shaojie, who trained under the reknown Tony Ching Siu Tung. Shaojie took special care of Sonija and personally demonstrated martial arts moves for her scenes. Last summer, Shaojie celebrated Sonija’s birthday together. When Sonija was troubled by negative rumors, Shaojie comforted her.

Wedding bells may be close for Sonija and Shaojie. Rumors claim that the pair may be getting married in April 2011. On her blog, Sonija wrote, “Holding your hand, I want to grow old with you.” (執子之手,與子偕老). When asked by reporters about the marriage rumors, Sonija said, “I don’t want to talk about it.” The crew for Palace knew about Sonija and Shaojie’s romance. On the series’ blog site was written, “A beautiful romance with an upcoming wedding….” Palace leading actress, Yang Mi, wrote, “My beautiful Hei Beng Neung Neung, please be happy!”

Sonija’s boyfriend, Zhu Shaojie was the action choreographer for <美人心計>, <天敵>, <宮鎖心玉>, and other mainland series. Although Shaojie was not very well known in China , many past collaborators spoke highly of his professionalism.

Sonija’s Ex-Flames Send Their Best Wishes

Sonija’s only publicly acknowledged boyfriend, Deric Wan Siu Lun, said he was unaware of Sonija’s upcoming wedding. Having completed filming in Plague 1910 <大瘟疫—1910> in Harbin , Deric returned to Guangzhou to manage his business. Deric sent his best wishes to Sonija, “That’s great! I’m happy for her. After we separated, we have not been in touch. As for myself, I have been very happy and fortunate.” (How was Deric’s life with Winnie?) “Since reconciling with my ex-wife, Winnie, we have been very happy together.”

Former rumored flame and 7 Days in Life <隔離七日情>co-star, Steven Ma Chun Wai was happy upon hearing Sonija’s news. “I have not asked Sonija for confirmation yet. I’ll wait for her announcement.” (Will you congratulate Sonija?) “Any kind of positive news deserves congratulations!”  Although reporters contacted Sonija’s past rumored co-star, Michael Tao Dai Yu, he did not respond to the press before the publication deadline.

Compiled from Sina.com.cn and the Sun

Jayne: With Sonija openly posting photos with Zhu Shaojie, I suspect that the wedding news is indeed true. IMO, Sonija always came across as a woman looking for love and placing her career second.

Some of my friends say that who you end up marrying is a matter of timing. You can meet the nicest guy but if you are not in the right stage in life, then he will not be your marriage partner.  What do you think? Do you have a list of qualities you look for in a guy and if that guy does not possess those qualities, you will cross him off your marriage candidate list? Do you trust your initial instincts or “give him time to change?”

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Responses

  1. Congrats to Sonija! Very happy for her. She finally found a man she can settle down with.

  2. I think she should date him for at least a yr before marrying him cuz guys tend to be sweet in the beginning. 1st yr is the honeymoon stage.

  3. she’s rushing it or there is something inside of her body…thats all i can say.

    1. lol… that may be true. or she just really wants to have a child & family.

  4. Congratulations to Sonija! I have met lots of nice guys who would have made a great partner for me; however, timing was not right, and I gave them up. Not for better prospects but for freedom and the chance to pursue other opportunities life like traveling and volunteering. For me, it was a matter of timing.

    If given the opportunity to meet another nice guy now, perhaps I will give him [and myself] a chance. I have learned [with age haha] to trust my instincts and give myself time to see if I can tolerate little quirks or behaviors. After all, it’s not like I’m perfect either, so he is also tolerating me…and probably not complaining lol.

    BTW my parents met and fell in love over the course of 4 months and were married in 6 months time..they’ve been together for 31 years. But’s that the older generation…haven’t lived long enough to see that in my generation 🙂

    1. Just read about a couple who got together through arranged marriage. They only met each other face to face at the wedding. They have been together for 25 years. So, time isn’t really a factor if the couple is right for each other. 🙂

      1. I don’t really agree and still feel that timing is still very important. But I also believe in fate as well. I guess the length of time that you date does not always indicate that they are the one for you. I have seen people date for many years but end up breaking up and others who get married in a matter of months.. Therefore, that is where fate and timing come in..

      2. @ HTS

        What I mean by ‘time isn’t really a factor’ is the length of time one dates before marriage, not ‘timing is right’ that kinda time.

    2. iampheng, thanks for sharing. I definitely believe that timing has a lot to do with the partner you end up with. I think personal maturity is very important before entering a relationship. In youth, I think it is best to make those self and world discoveries, take those opportunities for travel and work, take those risks. Otherwise there will be regrets down the road. Age tends to prohibit the amount of risks we take. Romance can come later….

      Reflecting back, I was quite “choosy” as to who I wanted to date while in school. Frankly, I was afraid to date because of the commitment. I was a “serious dater” and didn’t want to involve myself in a casual fling if I already saw qualities that I didn’t like in a particular guy. Thinking back, it was good to be by myself at that stage in life.

      There are many books out there that claim to teach people how to assess whether the people they are dating are right for them. I think dating and marriage partner selection is a reflection of whether we are good choicer makers in general. The type of friends you have will indicate whether you are a good judgement of character.

      Some people don’t need a long amount of time to find the right person. Some people have better judgements and don’t need a long amount of time to find their partners. For the majority of us, I think it’s better to thoroughly know the person as much as you can. Go on extended vacations, live together, attend family functions, check everything out first. 🙂

    3. THanks for sharing iampheng. I am glad to hear that your parents are still together after so many years. I used to think that you had to date someone for at least 5-6 years before knowing them well enough to marry them. But now, I guess that is not true anymore. I guess what got me changing my mind was my brother’s best friend who married a girl that he knew for only 6 months. That really shocked everyone…. But what really shocked me was Barbie Hsu’s sudden engagement after 20 days… I still don’t know if I can believe that someone can fall in love in such a short period of time… I guess you can but will the marriage last is another question. I guess you can date for years and years and break up, but you can also meet someone for a short period of time and get married… Once again, it is all down to fate…

  5. Congrats to Sonija. Hopefully she can find love and peace with this marriage 🙂

  6. Many HK actress is marrying China actor or action choreographer. Perhaps they’re manlier? Sounds like it. Good for her since in the past she seems to be involved in some high profile relationship and she seems to date any man but in the end, she is marrying I suppose someone less high profile.

    1. Re

      . On her blog, Sonija wrote, “Holding your hand, I want to grow old with you.” (執子之手,與子偕老). When asked by reporters about the marriage rumors, Sonija said, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

      Then please by all means DON’T BLOG ABOUT IT!

      1. Or maybe… they only have time or can date in another area like China where reporters can’t take pictures of them.

      2. Exactly!!! It’s like she is caught red handed and is trying to deny it…

      3. It’s already too late. Even before she blogged about ‘執子之手,與子偕老’, her busybody producer already revealed her secret. She might as well go along with it by revealing little by little. I’m happy for her, but, her marriage should be announced either by her or her fiance not the producer of her series (even though she met her fiance while filming the series)

        I can understand her reservation in answering reporters. The HK media was never kind to her, always depict her as a 3rd party homewrecker. I think she just didn’t want to say too much to the reporters in case they twisted her words.

  7. By the way I believe Steven Ma was never her beau at all. He started the rumour (he was young then, forgive him) and she flatly denied dating him, at all. I believe her.

    1. Funn, I thought that during the filming of “7 Days in Life,” Sonija and Steven admitted that they had mutual sparks for each other, but due to misunderstandings, their chemistry never blossomed into a full relationship. There were people who were spreading rumors about both of them and as a result, this caused misunderstanding and their resulting cold front, which did not get resolved until “7 Days in Life.”

      If I am inaccurate in the above assumptions, someone can correct me.

      1. 7 Days In Life is recent. I meant years ago. Steven was very publicity grabbing back then and if I remember correctly at that time Sonija was rumoured with lots of guys and Steven did say he and Sonija dated or hinted they dated. I remember Sonija flatly denied that and somewhere in my memory Charmaine backed her claim.

    2. @Funn, I meant to say that Steven and Sonija’s misunderstanding was from years ago. If my memory is reliable, weren’t those dating rumors during Perish in the Name of Love?

      So apparently, they had some mutual feelings for each other, but apparently some people may have said negative things in between, thus ending any possible further development in the relationship. I think Steven spoke too soon to the public about their dating, but Sonija changed her mind and thus denied anything between them.

      As a result, Sonija and Steven’s misunderstanding lasted for years and they didn’t reconcile their friendship until their recent collaboration in “7 Days in Life.”

  8. Congrats to Sonija! I also think that if she announced it publicly, then wedding bells are very close and she feels very strongly about this relationship.
    I’m sure nowadays not a lot of people look favorably at a flash marriage because the couple have not known each other well enough to determine if they are the right marriage partner. But I do think that timing is very important. Rather, I think it’s fate. I’m at an age where a lot of my friends are married and some with kids already, but I don’t feel that I need to rush to get married. Perhaps I enjoy the freedom and am not ready to settle down. But I do believe that if I meet a Mr Right and I feel that the timing is “right” I might get married sooner than I plan to. And from my past experience, he might not make all the checks on criteria list, but I will still like him for who he is-it’s just a special feeling I get when I’m with that person and I realize I like him when he makes me all giddy. 🙂

  9. I don’t think Sonija is rushing into anything… Relationship duration is not a good indication of whether a marriage will last… look @ Ekin Cheng/maggie siu, lui fong/dodo cheng, etc etc. My parents probably dated a month and have been married for 25+ years! Maybe it’s better for sonija to marry a man who’s not a celebrity, less pressure from the paparazzi.. and maybe men from china r more traditional?

  10. I believe in fate…. I think the timing thing is probably just an “excuse”, and the real reason behind it is the matter of “yoon fun”.

  11. Back in the day, you don’t need to settle with a partner long before you marry the person. Nowadays, morality is in a decline. Everywhere you go, you are tempted to cheat. It be wise to get to know the person for few years before make any life time deicision. When you in the love, your judgement is clouded and everything that person does is good. When the heat of passion is subsided, you begin to recognize flaws of your spouse that you failed to notice before. Eventually this also leads to divorce! So know the person well before rush into marriage. Sonja, take your time!!!!

    1. I just cannot resist but say that I totally agree with you. You guys are saying that SOnja is rushing?? WHat about Barbie Hsu and her 20 day affair?? If that is so, then hers has a great chance of not lasting…

      1. Maybe Barbie Hsu is pregnant? Seen her at public event lately?

      2. @Funn,
        Maybe Barbie is pregnant?? I honestly don’t know but to let a guy get you pregnant just like that?? Then he just marries you out of responsibility??? Sorry, but from what I have seen those usually end up in sad marriages or ones that just don’t last. I have seen some from my friend’s family. Her cousin and brother both married out of responsibility and now are both divorced and had a short and sad marriage. It’s not to say that that always happens, but I feel that if you were not compatible with a person and are only marrying them out of responsibility, you honestly question will be the marriage be happy and last???

      3. I just say the rush of the marriage could be due to her sudden pregnancy. I wouldn’t question the longevity. Or it could be a whirlwind romance, a passionate union between 2 who are madly, deeply in love with one another. Even if she was pregnant, in today’s world, there is no need to marry out of responsibility. Maybe the guy really really loves her and she loves him. There are those who married for love but ended up divorce 1 month later because they couldn’t stand living with one another. So I can’t say for sure. But I just wonder why the rush and lack of pictures post wedding?

    2. I agree with Darren. It is a shock to learn that Sonija is getting married after dating for even not a year. Too rush! May I add that I see no matching between them – one celeb and one no name. They are too different in all aspects of life, not compatible at all. She was raised up westernized. She has her social status. She is of course far more well-off. Marriage is not about 2 people but the whole bunch of their family members, their friends, their social and financial status, their jobs. I pray that she comes into conscious and considers everything thoroughly before making such a rush. I also have a strong believe that she is destined to marry into a rich family with a man who will love and cherish her all of his life. Not a man who gives his life for her to bully but a man who gives his life to take good care of her and her mother.

  12. Sad to say that nowadays with divorce being so common and a true relationship being so underappreciated, it does not matter how long you met the person or how well you know the person, temptation exist, people’s tolerance decreases with age, and no one is perfect. A smart person will learn that in order to make a relationship work, compromise is the key and the true appreciation for one another is important. There will always be another mountain higher than another, so no one is perfect. If you made your decision to be with someone, cherish that person and work at it, unless he beats the crap out of you, then a sane person would not marry that person in the first place. The bottom line is don’t be greedy, have some common sense, fairy tale does not exist.

    1. Jayzemine, I think with each successive generation, people are focusing more on the “me culture,” “what is it in for me?” People have gotten more impatient, uncompromising, and too focused on what they get out of a relationship. Once I left college and entered the work force, I found this “me culture” permeating every facet of our relationships: from office politics at work, romantic relationships, to friendships now that are tested by “who is putting in more effort.” With our busy lives, everyone wants our time and our attention.

      One of my friends said that a mother’s love will never equate the love of a spouse. A mother will always tolerate the faults of her child and give unrequited love. Unfortunately, not everyone loves their significant others in this sense. In many of our relationships, we want to receive the same amount of love (if not greater) than the love we put in. Perhaps, Freud is right, the inner human psyche is selfish and bent on self-pleasure. Through age and experiences, we learn “how to love” in an altruistic manner. But many times, we resort back to that most primitive, childish behavior which drives our rawest emotions.

      Dating someone is easy if you are not living together. If you don’t spend the whole week together, you will look forward to seeing each other on those dates. You will tolerate more and avoid confrontations. Especially at the beginning of a relationship, when you are strongly attracted to each other and romance clouds everything else.

      1. I find a lot of truth in what you are saying Jayne.. I have observed that in a lot of relationships and marriages lately. However, there are still some selfless people out there that are willing to give more than just receive. But I still see imbalances in relationships/marriages because one always gives more than the other. Sadly, the one the receives seems to take advantage of it and just keeps on taking more and more. I find that sad that they would use the fact that another person loves them so much that they would take advantage of them. I totally agree with you that so many people are so selfish these days and only want to focus on themselves and no one else.

        A mother’s love is different from most types of loves since it is probably the most special one we will have in our lives. But it depends on the mother since there are bad mothers out there whom love their children conditionally and try to get as much out of their children as they can too. I have seen that as well..

      2. How do you quantify love to reach the 50-50 equality in give and take? Even a mother’s love can be biased between 2 children, but doesn’t mean she doesn’t love the less loved one lesser than she is. There is always one who loves more than the other, one who sacrifices more than the other, one who does more for the other. It doesn’t mean the giving party should use that as a counter point of all their sacrifices whilst the receiving person should use such love selfishly. But love is love. If you’re so afraid to be taken advantage of, then perhaps you are not ready for love. Love is to take advantage and to be taken advantage, but it is whether for the good or for the worse. HeTieShou, I respect your opinion and I know you give good observations but most of your observations are based on observing another and coming to a general conclusion of everybody. I may question a star’s chemistry with another, acting abilities, etc and these can be observed impartially by the side. But when it comes to love, marriage, relationship, sacrifice, a 3rd person observation may enable us to observe and comment, but until we walk in the shoes of those who are in that sort of situation, we can hardly come to a conclusion and judge.

        When you’re in love, you’re blind to all. The same when you hate.

      3. @Funn,

        I know that love cannot be an equal 50/50 and life is NOT fair and I know that!!! BUT, what I meant was that you try to be as fair as you can instead of trying to take advantage as everyone as much as you can. I hate seeing BIG imbalances if you know what I mean…Of course I know that one always have to give more than other. But I also hope that the one that receives will also try to give back and do their part as well.

        When it comes to the love of a mother, I must say that when she has many(like in my family), I can tell that she does clearly love some of us more than others. She even admits it…I did NOT mean to say that everyone is like that OK. You are jumping to conclusions that I think EVERYONE is like that. I know that there are exceptions to everyone and everything and I constantly mention that. It is true that as a 3rd person, we do not see everything that the 2 people involved do. However, at the same time, we do also see a lot of things that the people who are involved don’t see as well.

        You are right, when you are in love, you are blind, foolish, clouded, etc… and even when someone tries to reason with you it just doesn’t seem to work at all.I guess that is what people mean when they say that love is blind…

        By the way, I am not afraid to be taken of advantage of and people take advantage of me all the time…Whether it be family or friends… I always try to give more than I am given… But I know that there are some that try to take as much as they can and not give anything back. Notice, that I did NOT say everyone is like that. When I generalize, it does NOT equate to everyone…

  13. I don’t see this union lasting very long… but anyways, wishing all the best to Sonija… I don’t think I am the only one who though that perhaps Sonija was destined to marry into a rich family 🙂

    As for Steven Ma, really, they never dated??!? I thought they were always in an underground relationship… until Sonija decided to come out in the open as she claimed Steven was the newsmaker by calling on the reporters and informing them where they would be..i’m glad they patched things up and became friends……

    1. Sonija has been quite consistent in the truth abt her relationships with costars and Steven Ma was one she denied absolutely. I believe her.

    2. What? Are you sure Sonija is telling the truth? It doesn’t seem like something Steven would do. Steven is a very scholar, clean type of nice man.

      1. Steve was young once and he had his share of bad publicity. It was all during those times. Nothing harmful or scandalous but well, he was young once. I believe Sonija.

    3. I am not sure about the destined part because don’t most actresses aim to get married into a rich family so that they can be set for life(or at least partially set)?? Who really knows the future and how many people are actually married to just one person throughout their lives?? That is even rare for the average citizen,therefore, with celebs it is even more rare. We should not all be shocked if this union doesn’t last, but hey only time will tell…

  14. I met sonija at flushing, NY. She’s so cute. I thought she was taller but she’s a petite. She was very sweet unlike Anne Heung that’s so suck up. She got mad because I asked Sonija to take a picture instead. Yeah I’m so happy for them!!! Congratulations!!! If you know that person will be the one then it doesn’t matter how quick they get marry. I’ve been dating for six years and know he’s the right one but still not married yet. I know this couple that dated for a decade and ended breaking up. My cousin dated since he was in middle school and now he’s almost forty and they finally got married while about to give birth soon. So if you know he or she is the one hold on to them. When you know then you know!!!! You’re not perfect yourself so if u give him time to change you need to think if you need to change anything as well. A lot of things are meant to be but you are the beholder of your own life so control your mind and follow the right path for yourself. Don’t live for nobody else but yourself. Even death is meant to be.

  15. Congrats to Sonija! Very happy for her as she seems to have aged well. The paparazzi have been pretty brutal to her in the past so am glad she seems to have found happiness.

    Wonder why they haven’t asked Michael Tao what he thinks of this news yet. 😉

    On the baby rumour, apparently they’re moving the date to the end of the year (instead of the originally rumoured April) to “prove” that they’re not getting married b/c she’s pregnant.

    1. @Bridget, I read in another tabloid that Michael Tao wished the groom good luck upon hearing the wedding news. IMO, he sounded sarcastic.

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