• happybi

    @hetieshou Not sure if you’ll see this but how are you? Mom doing OK? Miss seeing you here. Hope all is well.

    • Sep 16, 2016 04:30pm
    • Sep 16, 2016 04:30pm
    • hetieshou

      @happybi
      Thanks so much for your message and thanks for asking about my mom and for thinking of me. But sadly, my dear mother just passed away on Dec. 5. I am just sooo sad and depressed that I do not want to live at times. It is so hard and painful for me. Thanks and miss you and everyone too. I have not been on due to my mom and all. She was sick for a long time but it got very bad this year that I lost her. Thanks again for thinking of me. I really appreciate it.

      Dec 24, 2016 12:48am
    • happybi

      @hetieshou oh no. So sorry to hear this!! I was really hoping that things just got too busy and that this site been flooded with weird people that you stayed away. Sorry to hear about your Mom. Stay strong!! I know its hard but hope you find comfort that she is no longer in pain. Your Dad and family will help you through this. Please take it easy when you can. Time will help! Take care! Merry Christmas and be happy!

      Dec 24, 2016 10:21pm
    • hetieshou

      @happybi
      Thanks so much for your message. I am just so sad and depressed and still in denial. I just imagine that she is on a long and happy trip somewhere and will come back one day. I will try to stay strong but it is hard. My dad passed away in 2004 already. My family is not good to me either. I lost my 6th brother in 2011 too. Life just seems to be full of tragedies for me that it is hard to look up. Thanks so much for your support and encouragement. I really appreciate it. Hope you have a great X’mas and happy new year too.

      Dec 25, 2016 01:36am
    • happybi

      @hetieshou sometime life just isn’t fair. You have been through a lot. I lost my older bro when I was 15 yrs old. It was hard but time does help. We still misses him but now when we think back we no longer think of the oain but only the happy times. So time will heal all wound so hopefully it will help you too. Take it easy when you can!!

      Dec 25, 2016 12:52pm
    • hetieshou

      @happybi
      Yes,I have always known that life is not fair. We all are at different stages in our lives and have a different fate. Sorry to hear about your brother as well. May I ask how long ago that was? Time will heal all wounds is true to some extent, but a wound that heals will still leave a scar that we must carry for life. I felt it with my dad, brother and now my mom. I took care of them all when they were sick and gave up a lot to do so. At least I had the opportunity to at least repay what they have done for me. But I still feel so sad because there was so much more I wanted to do for and with them. I have now become an orphan and can truly feel the pain of orphans that do not have parents. It is just too painful and hard. Thanks for your comfort,support and encouragement. I really appreciate it!

      Dec 26, 2016 04:42am
    • happybi

      @hetieshou over 20 plus years now since his death. I think its harder for you because you were the one who took care of them. Sound like you had a lot of responsibility with your family. To get out of being depress, why not do something that you always wanted to do but was held back because of these responsibility? Life is short as you know it. Start focusing on what make you happy and go for it! 2017 is just around the corner so wishing you the best!

      Dec 26, 2016 05:15am
    • hetieshou

      @happybi
      No matter how much time has passed,you never forget them. It is definitely the hardest for me since I was the closest to my parents, took care of them and am the only girl. I had 7 brothers that did not do much for my parents. Yes, my family are traditional and push all of the responsibilities of taking care of people onto the girls and since I am the only one, I did it all. Yes, I held off on my dream of teaching overseas for years because I knew if I left then no one will take care of mom as she is always in poor health. My biggest regret is that she will not see me get married one day (if I do get married) and develop my career that I have been putting on hold. Everyone now mocks me saying I have nothing but I do not care as I had to be there for my mom. I have to make offerings to my mom now for 49 days before I can go back to fulfilling my dream to rpteach overseas. I also have not been able to concentrate as I need time to grieve and really miss my mom. I know life is short so I need to try to fulfill my dream and live happily so I can make my mom proud as I do not want to disappoint her and my brother. Thanks for your support! I appreciate it and wish you the best in everything as well!

      Dec 26, 2016 04:16pm
    • happybi

      @hetieshou you have nothing? How dare those ppl mock you!! Family always come first! Its ok to hold off on your dream when your parents need you. Especially when they are sick and you are needed. That is why people say having son are no good as they won’t be the one to tske care of you when you get old. Girls are better! Your parents are very lucky to have you. Grieve and when it get better, go do what you love!!! You deserve it!

      Dec 27, 2016 05:17pm
    • hetieshou

      @happybi,
      Thanks and many look down on me saying that I have no future since I put my career on hold and have no love life. One family even pointed in my face and said I will have a sad life and need to marry a guy so he can support me. I was so mad hearing that since I feel women need to support themselves and not just rely on the guy. My parents did not teach me like that and always told me to be independent which was why they worried for my career and not love life. One cousin even asked if I ever worked. Gosh, she is a drop out and works at a casino. I have my masters degree but had to put my career on hold to care for my mom,but sadly people just think of work and money as being the most important thing. I would not say girls are better because many of my girl cousins do nothing for their parents, but it’s their sons that take care of them so it really depends. The things I do for my parents are things many cannot do, like change their diapers and stuff. Basically taking care of them like big babies. I think taking care of babies are way easier than elderly people. Thanks so much but I think I will grieve for the rest if my life,but I promised my mom and brother to fulfill my dreams and to live a happy life. I cannot let them down. Thanks again for everything!

      Dec 31, 2016 03:54am
    • happybi

      @hetieshou ahhh the Asian problem…. relatives just LOVE to give their opinion even when it suck. You did a difficult job with your parents but it made you stronger. Just keep living buddy and be happy!

      Jan 04, 2017 12:14pm
    • hetieshou

      @happybi
      Yes, you know how Asians are. They just care about work and money and take everything else for granted. Wait until their parents get sick. I think that is when they will realize it, unless they have other people to throw that burden on which I know some people will. One of my mom’s friends told me it was a blessing for me to be able to care for my parents since not everyone can do it. Yes, it did make me stronger and not regretful because I at least got to repay some of the things they did for me. It is hard to live as an orphan as I can see how hard other orphans it. I often remind people to care for their parents and spend time with them while they can. Sadly, some take it the wrong way. Thanks and I will try to keep living although it is very hard. Hope that this year has treated you well so far.

      Jan 04, 2017 08:47pm
    • happybi

      @hetieshou As my kids gets older I realize so are my parents. When I think of that, it makes me nervous, scare and sad. And yes, we spend a lot of time with them now that they are retired and it’s nice as I’m from a typical Chinese family. So when we were younger, we don’t get to spend a lot of time with them as all they do is work (restaurant) and our grandparents raise us. So it’s really a luxury to be able to travel with them and spend time with them. And yes your parents were really lucky to have you to be able to take care of them. Very very lucky.

      Jan 09, 2017 08:39am
    • hetieshou

      @happybi,
      May I ask how old your parents are? You are so lucky to still have them after having your own family and all. I am almost the youngest so my parents cannot be young. One of my biggest regrets is my parents will not be here in person to see me have a career and get married. But then again if I did have all that I probably would not have been able to take care of them as well as I did since I put my own life on hold. You are so lucky to be able to travel with them and all as I never had that luxury due to money, time and my parents poor health. I know that one day if I ever had my own kids, I will miss my parents and brother even more. Some do not realize the hardships of being parents until they have their own kids. Luckily I already knew it at a young age so tried to treasure my parents as much as I could. Now I need to get back to my life and make my parents and brother proud.

      Jan 11, 2017 03:46am
    • happybi

      @hetieshou Good for you! They will be proud! My Dad is 73 and Mom is 65. Mom is healthy. Dad is the one who make us worry as he has diabetes but he doesn’t watch what he eats. I am #6 out of my family. Parents have 7 kids like your family. And yes, it’s really nice to be able to travel with them as we didn’t do much when we were younger. I facetime my parents every night or every other night. It’s funny as my daughter will ask me why I talk to por por so much. And I said, well por por is my Mom.. are you not going to talk to me when i get old? She start laughing.

      Jan 17, 2017 10:48am