Last year was a record-breaking year at mainland China’s box office, but it was also a year that provided us with glaringly awful comedies, dumb romantic stories, and embarrassing CGI effects. The following list is Sohu’s top ten picks for this year’s worst films in the second half of 2012 and what the critics had to say.
10. The Guillotines <血滴子>
Director: Andrew Lau
Starring: Huang Xiaoming, Ethan Juan, Li Yuchun, Shawn Yue
The Guillotines was once considered to be the most anticipated film of the year. Huang Xiaoming was no longer portraying a spoiled brat, and Li Yuchun was finally a woman. With a movie about a group of secret imperial assassins, we expected many fights, betrayals, battles of wits, and snarky drama, but the film turned out to be merely a gratuitous period version of Young and Dangerous <古惑仔>. It was not even a good adaptation too.
9. Tears in Heaven <新妈妈再爱我一次>
Director: Kim Seok Hun
Starring: Lu Yi, Sally Jing, Mini Bin
Bad screenwriting and expressionless acting; it is a romance film that lacks heart and love. Not even South Korea’s best director at romance could save this movie. The good side of it was that Lu Yi and Sally Jing were not bad to look at. Mini Bin was also very adorable.
8. Tai Chi Zero <太極1從零開始>
Director: Stephen Fung
Starring: Jayden Yuan, Angelababy, Tony Leung Ka-fai, Eddie Peng
Adding a steampunk twist to a classic martial arts movie may sound refreshing and revolutionary. The teaser trailers make the film seem as if it would be a video gamer’s paradise, but do not let those flashy special effects deceive you. Tai Chi Zero really was not that great of a movie. Jayden Yuan makes a terrible lead actor. The action choreography is surprisingly underwhelming, and the graphics could have been better. However, credits must be given to director and writer Stephen Fung for at least trying something different.
7. Jia Wu Da Hai Zhan <甲午大海战>
Director: Feng Xiaoning
Starring: Lu Yi, Yang Lixin, Xia Yu, Sun Haiying
For an epic war film whose main focus is about China’s supreme navy, the film was terribly un-epic, low-budget, and insipid. It does not matter if you gather the best of the best actors in China – if you have a bad script, no one can save it.
6. The Assassins <铜雀台>
Director: Zhao Linshan
Starring: Chow Yun Fat, Crystal Liu, Hiroshi Tamaki, Alec Su
Many ancient Chinese historians must be crying their eyes out when this movie released. Historical inaccuracy aside, this film was just a big piece of epic nothing. You get nothing out of this film. None of the characters were likeable, and likewise, the story itself was not likable.
5. The Zodiac Mystery <十二星座离奇事件>
Director: Sheng Zhimin
Starring: David Tong, Gan Wei, Qin Hao, Kimi Qiao
Think of this movie as a television episode. Think of this movie as a hilarious low-budget Halloween special of a television episode. Think of this movie as a television episode that had 30 minutes of relevant but uninteresting content and 40 minutes of unnecessary content and random fillers. Yes, that is The Zodiac Mystery in a big nutshell.
4. Holding Love <Hold住爱>
Director: Zhang Qi
Starring: Yang Mi, Hawick Lau, Chrissie Chau
It is the battle of the boobs between Chrissie Chau and Yang Mi! It is the battle of who can write the best short story at your elementary school’s young author’s competition! It does not matter how sexy and cute the cast is, when you go to the cinemas to watch this movie, you come out of it with a lower IQ. It is guaranteed.
3. The Four <四大名捕>
Director: Gordon Chan, Janet Chun
Starring: Deng Chao, Crystal Liu, Ronald Cheng, Collin Chou
The only good thing about this film was that it had one of the coolest opening sequences of the year. Other than that, there were no good memories. It was a nice change to see a female hero for once, and it was awesome to know that the film combined American comic superheroes with traditional Chinese wuxia, but that does not justify that The Four was possibly one of the worst movies of the year. Even Spongebob made more sense than this movie.
2. The Lion Roars 2 <河東獅吼2>
Director: Joe Ma
Starring: Cecilia Cheung, Xiao Shenyang, Zhao Benshan
This is a sequel that none of us asked for. The original The Lion Roars was hilarious, but was a sequel necessary? No. Besides, The Lion Roars 2 is only a sequel in name only. Besides Cecilia Cheung, The Lion Roars 2 featured none of the original cast. With bad acting, bad gags, and just bad everything, watching this just is not worth your time. The Four was stupid, but at least it had decent special effects and was at most an entertaining popcorn flick.The Lion Roars 2 had neither.
1. Wu Dang <大武當之天地密碼>
Director: Patrick Leung
Starring: Vincent Zhao, Yang Mi, Louis Fan, Xu Jiao
This unfortunate film makes the list as number one because it had the potential to do so much more, yet it had none. Vincent Zhao is a great fighter, but he had little to no chemistry with the young Yang Mi. And let us not talk about the so-called “romance” between 39-year-old Louis Fan and 15-year-old Xu Jiao. Absolutely disgusting! With such bad direction, bad acting, horrible action choreography, and embarrassing special effects, this movie definitely tops the list as China’s worst film of 2012.
This article is written by Addy for JayneStars.com.