Francis Ng is a Strict Father: “I Pushed My Son Down the Stairs!”

Francis Ng (吳鎮宇) does not believe in the modern parenting style where the children are handheld and coddled. He does not believe children should have lots of freedom and extended parent-child interaction. Instead, he believes in tough love. He is convinced that his 4-year-old son, Feynman, will only learn through hardships and failures. Francis even admitted to pouring hot food onto Feynman’s hands and pushing his son down the stairs. Dissatisfied with Hong Kong’s relaxed education system, Francis intends to send his son to Singapore, a country of strict regulations and restrictions.

Francis Crushes His Son’s Confidence

Francis shared that his strict parenting style is to repeatedly attack his son’s confidence, allowing him to learn from his mistakes. “I’m a father who always attacks my son’s confidence. When my son had a dispute with other children at the playground, I won’t interfere. Only then will he learn to be independent. Even when he is bullied or hit, I won’t move. I will only teach him after. Next time when he comes across a similar situation, he will know to avoid it.”

Francis believes in playing the authoritative father and not showing affections to Feynman. He said, “I really don’t understand why there is a need to be in close contact with the son. I find the need to mess with my son, to threaten and to shout at him. Once when my son was two, he was moving around when he was having his meal. Immediately I placed a plate of hot food on his two hands and he never dared to fidget the next time he eats. It is our house rule that he needs to be accompanied at the stairs. However he chose not to listen so once, so I pushed him a little down the stairs. Then he realized that he could fall and when he falls, he will experience pain. So the next time he would not disobey again!”

Francis admitted that his severe tactics made Feynman fear his own father. The little boy is much closer to Francis’ wife, Fiona Wong (王麗萍).

Right after filming Triumph in the Skies 2 <衝上雲霄II>, Francis went to Singapore to search for a school for Feynman. As a result, he was not able to attend any of the promotional events for Triumph in the Skies 2 in late July. Since Fiona was born in Singapore, she is familiar with the rigorous schools there.

Though the Hong Kong education system is known to be stressful, Francis felt it is not enough for his son. He wants Feynman to learn in an even more stressful environment. An insider revealed, “The generation of children who have been educated by the old spoon-feeding method are now parents. If they can afford it, they will pay to let their children study in international schools. However, Francis thinks otherwise. He thinks a young child needs to be disciplined. If the child does anything wrong, he needs to be punished and scolded and not be brought up in a comfortable environment. As a result, he has chosen a public school in Singapore. As his wife is a Singaporean, there is no documentation to process. The purpose of this trip was to go for the interview. If he is chosen, they will have to fly to Singapore to process the registration. Despite flying to and fro, Francis feels it’s worth it.”

After returning to Hong Kong on August 8, Francis went to China the following day. A couple of days ago, Fiona was seen bringing Feynman to Wan Chai for his English lessons. Without the presence of his father, Feynman was apparently more at ease.

Francis’ Choice

Francis’ school of choice in Singapore is Pei Chun Public School. With a rich history and fantastic facilities, such as two standard pools, the school manages to produce good results year after year. Known for its rigorous school ethos, the school focuses on its strong traditional Chinese culture and values such as honesty and righteousness, exactly in line with Francis’ military school of thought.

The education system in Singapore not only emphasizes on developing a child’s education, it also offers rich sports programs. Compared to Hong Kong’s ratio of 1 teacher to 30 students, preschools in Singapore have a ratio of 1 teacher to 10 students. The entire preschool curriculum is based entirely on the development of the language skills of the children. New parents can sit in on the first few lessons to understand how the lessons are conducted.

Source: Oriental Sunday #818 via ihktv.com

This article is written by Karen for JayneStars.com.

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Responses

    1. OMG that poor kid! Just because Francis had a hard life, doesn’t mean he should put his child through that. He really has a chip on his shoulder.

      I hope the kid grows up normal, but if he doesn’t I think we will know why not.

  1. “Preschools in Singapore have a ratio of 1 teacher to 10 students”, really??

    1. Not true. Not sure where they came up with that number.

    2. I am a Singaporean and this is not true. For preschools, the ratio is about 1:20. Of course, it depends on which school you are going, private or public. In any case, for primary and secondary schools, our ratio is 1:40.

  2. I thought it’s a bit too much to pour hot food into a 2-year-old’s hands intentionally to teach a lesson. The child will learn one way or another, no need to be so harsh.

    As for pushing Feynman down the stairs, it wasn’t clear how many steps he fell. But it would likely have been several steps, enough to make the fall hurt enough to teach Feynman not to break house rules.

    1. even an adult who slip 1 step of stair can hurt the leg badly! what about a 2 yr old? I really pity the little boy.

    2. I am sure he used sense in giving out punishments. On paper sounds extreme but again he must have used sense. I think his meaning at the end of the day is he is a harsh father who believes in tough love. I have a feeling his son will grow into a man respecting authorities and responsible. I also believe in not pampering a child. Singapore schools I think are not that strict anymore. Watch I Not Stupid I and II to see their education system.

      1. How can you judge on education systems, based on I Not Stupid I / I Not Stupid II ? It doesn’t represent the whole picture and it certainly does not represent every singaporean child’s experiences.

      2. “I have a feeling his son will grow into a man respecting authorities and responsible.”

        Or he’ll grow into someone who will abuse his son in the future as well.

      3. I’m sorry but pouring hot food into an infant’s hands? This is borderline abuse! This guy is a great actor but I feel like he doesn’t know how to separate himself from acting and the personal sphere. He lacks knowledge in child development. An infant’s skin is the most sensitive and vulnerable. How stupid is he? I understand that kids should learn through experiences to gain a better understanding in life. Tough love is important too but from what he describes, isn’t “tough love”. I feel like he he’s so cynical to find pleasure in breaking down his son’s confidence. He’s only a toddler. If you are already criticizing him that way, he will have problems when he’s older. Self confidence is so vital, especially for a male. I’m sorry but what an incompetent father.

        @FUNN LIM, even if he is “using sense” .. the way he’s approaching parenting is mind boggling. A child shouldn’t be pampered yes, but the fact that he thinks his son should grow up in a “even more stressful environment”. How is it healthy for a child? He incorporates no POSITIVE reinforcements, only punishments. I don’t see the logic there.

      4. Well said Yum.
        And actually, if you use violence during the early years and if the child remembers, that will cause huge problems in the future, especially the times when he is growing up.

        My sister was abused during her early years by my relatives and my father.. What happens now? She’s quite scarred and saw that no one stood up for her and stuff among those lines.

      5. Okay, if so. Then please go be Francis’ kid with hot liquid, pushing down stairs, send to Singapore to toughen you up, go get bully by kids and etc… as a CHILD not an adult. Then you can come back and tell me that he have “sense.” Maybe, just maybe, I’ll believe you that what he did has toughen you up to be a “woman/man respecting authorities and responsibility.”

        If that is far fetch, go fall down the stair, pour hot liquid on your hand, and ask for a fight with others to see how you deal with it too.

    3. He is a smart actor but a silly father. If his family is living in America he will be put in jail for abusing child. The way he teach his son will lead his son to be more stubborn and may get a mental disorder later in his life. I used to be his fan but after reading this article I feel so disappointed and no more loving him.

  3. hot water, push down the staircase and attack his son’s confidence, I just can’t agree with his way of educating his son! sounds crazy!!!

    1. I know, sounds cruel and insane parental discipline. He should be in the US, they will probably lock him up for being an abusive parent. Haha LOL…

      1. Exactly, in the USA this will be considered child abuse. I cringed reading this article about Francis’ militant parenting style. Yes, many kids today are too spoiled, soft and have a sense of entitlement, especially those raised in the west by overly indulgent parents who give them complete freedom to do whatever, while failing to discipline them whilst growing up (one good example – Holiday in TITS 2! ;-)), but surely there must be some middle ground between not setting any rules at all and spoiling the child, or being too tough with punishing one’s child to the point where the child becomes fearful of being around that parent, like in Francis son’s case. His son is only four, too young understand why his father is so hard on him. Francis sounds like such a strict old school, no-nonsense parent, though not an uncaring one. Reminds me of Captain Von Trapp in The Sound Of Music. At least he doesn’t whistle at the kid to make him stand in rapt attention (I hope not!lol).

      2. To add to my thought above: spoilt kids are the same, whether they grew up in the west or not. There are spoilt and bratty kids in all societies – east or west, in China and in America. Some people like to excuse spoilt behaviour as being ‘westernized’, nope. Asian kids can be equally spoilt, so being ‘westernized’ or growing up in a western culture has nothing to do with it.

        When I was in University in Australia, I was sharing an apartment with 3 girls – one from Italy, one from Thailand and one from China. The girl from Italy snuck boys into her room at night and stole my food from the refrigerator(she was not rich but came to Australia on a study grant). Well, at least Italian girl was neat and tidy, she cleaned up her own mess. The Thai girl had a wealthy businesswoman mother but she still worked part-time at a local restaurant for pocket money. She was sweet and thoughtful (always cooking and inviting me to eat with her), although a bit untidy, but still tolerable. The girl from China had rich parents who sent her to Australia to learn English before starting university. Oh boy, was she ever so messy! Her room looked like a hurricane had swept through it. There was not a clean spot on the floor. Her clothes were strewn everywhere, and half empty pizza boxes lay around on her desk until the stench got so bad, I could smell from outside the door. Her room looked like a pig sty! She must have been living like a princess in China, having servants to clean up after her all the time, because she was completely clueless on how to pick up after herself, or cook a simple meal. She had take-outs every single night. But, of course she could afford it, she’s a rich kid. At least she didn’t come to Australia with her maid in tow (yes, some asian students bring their maids along! Kinda defeats the purpose of studying overseas and learning to be independent…).

        Before sharing the student apartment with these girls, I lived for a short while with a Malaysian girl and her mother. The girl’s mother always washed all the dishes after every meal (that her mother cooked for her, of course), as well as fawning over her daughter, who had a rich boyfriend (mother was real happy about that). She proudly told me that her precious daughter never had to wash a single plate in her life, she made sure of that. Omg, I just stared at the mother in disbelief. And now we know why there are so many spoilt, entitled kids! *big eye roll*

      3. **felicity
        I know, he does not sound strict on paper but cruel? Who does tha??? I mean, that sounds like it will physically hurt? When you have to hurt them to teach them right or wrong, that’s not cool..it’s not like simple hit a butt or whatever. HOT FOOD? DOWN THE STAIRS? Holy crap, that sounds indeed insane. I know, that’s why on my other post he looks OLD to me for his age perhaps cuz of his big baldy head ahha… He is OLD SCHOOL and looks exactly like one. But even that sounds a bit over the top. Good thing he’s still in demand due to his king status b/c i always think he’s so OVERRATED.

  4. “”Francis even admitted to pouring hot food onto Feynman’s hands and pushing his son down the stairs once””

    “I’m a father who always attacks my son’s confidence”

    “I find the need to mess with my son, to threaten and to shout at him”.

    Either it is loss in translation or he is CRAZY!

  5. what francis doesn’t know is there are many students in singapore who died killing themselves due to high competition and stress at school, many jumped down from their apartments, no cuddles and encouragements from dad? what a sad child, he does not feel loved and will find it difficult to love himself and his parents as well, francis is being crazy, his wife should stop him from destroying their only son

    1. To me, he is just “mean spirited”.

      i am just appalled on this like you, and also appalled that some readers like Funn thinks it is ok because he used “some sense in it and his son will grow into a man respecting authorities and responsible”.

      I am just disgusted

      1. I totally agree with you Donna. There’s a difference between not spoiling a child and raising him up to be a responsible being without violence.

  6. Wow…

    And everyone faces pressure/stress in their educational institutions once in awhile. But it also depends on how the student adapts to the school, the workload and pressures. What may be “relaxing” to one student may be hard to another student.

  7. It is right that do not spoil the child, but Francis’ way of parenting is very very harsh!!!

  8. When you deliberately hurt a child, as this report suggests, it is a crime in the Western world, and the child is removed from such a parent for safety reasons, because these questions come to mind: what if the hands had been severely burned; what if he had fallen and broken his neck? This is a boy who would be better off without a Father than to be subjected to what you have reported. Thanks for ensuring I don’t spend any money supporting this individual on film.

    1. Well spoken, not impressed.
      Child abuse, to be specific.

  9. why is his wife keeping quiet about this? is francis beating her up at home?

  10. Where is the “love” in Francis’ claim of “tough love?”

  11. Wasn’t there an article a while back about how sweet Francis’ relationship with his son is?

    His son respects and loves him. I believe he spoke of one example when he got home, tired from work and his son gave him $2 to “help out.”

    1. I agree, I don’t think his relationship with his son is that bad. I guess it sounds bad on paper

  12. This isn’t tough love or strict parenting, he can call it whatever he wants but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s ABUSE. Disgusting.

  13. I’m thinking about it the samething like everyone else isnt this abusing??

    I mean come on he’s only 4yrs old for god sakes you don’t teach nor discipline a toddler so roughly it’ll just do harm in his childhood

  14. I thought there was an article about how his son admire him from TTIS2 ? I wonder if this is true, or putting fire to oil.

    Putting him a a father not as an actor here:

    This is call abuse, doesn’t matter how he tried to alter it. It is what it’s. Pushing the kid down the stair, hot liquid into hand, destroy ones confidence, let other kid bully your kid and let him stand up for himself the next time, send the child traditional education system to toughen him up.

    You yourself might think it’s a good idea, but believe me, it is not. I’m a good example of that. My father was a tough cookies, and ’til this day, I don’t even know if I have much love enough for him. And he knows what he did was bad then, but it the scar will always be there even when it heal. There is already a wound.

    I know parents said, “I’m doing what is right for you now even if you hate me in the future.” Well, I hope what you’re doing now, you will not regret it later on with barely enough love from your kids.

    1. Hmm. My mum used to beat the crap out of me and she’d keep a metal pole or wooden plank in the room. My dad, on the other hand, was less physical, but I also suffered a lot of emotional abuse from him. I THINK I love my parents – as a daughter, I just think it’s my duty to love and care for them. But I’m not sure if I can ever respect them as individuals.

  15. He’d better curb his ways or hope to God that his son is made of sterner stuff, or else the boy may come out of this emotionally scarred… The pouring hot food or pushing down the stairs – I’m not sure what the frack that’s supposed to teach.

  16. This guy gives me the impression of having sadistic tendencies.

    1. Same here, and he is shoving it to the young one, unable to defend himself.

      Seriously, i am not a parent, i have no kids, but i have a little corgi. I would never ever treat my dog like that, so i fail to understand how can anyone treat any human like this, let alone his own young child.

    2. I agree. He sounded like he enjoyed attacking his son’s confidence. And to those who support his “tough love” — there’s a difference between discipline and abuse.

  17. You should discipline your child but any sort of violence or abuse is not the correct way. I feel like those who resort to any kind of pain inflicted to their child just don’t have the patience to teach them. It’s just disgusting to know now a days some parents still haven’t moved on from the ways parents taught their kids when they were kids.

  18. Francis recently posted something on his weibo about an article which was largely made up, while also posting a picture of his smiling son. I wonder if this was what he was referring to?

    1. I think so. Kind of remind me of a similar Alex Fong interview and ppl here are speculating and crying how his daughter will be scarred for life. Lol.

  19. Provided the news article did not get lost in translation, Francis’ methods, to me, really bordered on the abusive side.

    There is a fine line between tough love and outright abuse and parents can be confused by the two in the throes of the moment.

    The title of the article may have sensationalize the issue a bit because I do believe he did not ‘push his son down the stairs’ but was just doing a ‘pushing and grabbing’ scare tactic to show the dangers of playing on the stairs but there’s the danger of losing one’s grip which is why I always admire parents who were able to get their disciplinary message through to their young ones via clear articulation and psychological tact without having to resort to physical remonstration.

    And I do agree with Jayne that pouring hot food on the son’s hands is a bit too extreme, but then again the whole thing may have been taken out of context by the writer of the original article or via the translation itself.

  20. I doubt this article. In previous tv interview, Francis did said that he warned his son not to touch hot pot/food, but his son didn’t listen so he let him experience his mistake on his own.

    1. I think the reporter purposely twist his words to sensationalize the article. If the above was true he would have been arrested for child abuse.

    2. This seems a lot more likely.

      It sucks for Francis that most people will believe that this article is true, even after he clarifies.

      1. Just like it sucks for all other actors when the tabloids make up lies or exaggerate news

  21. On a random note here, but anyone else watch Rinozawa on Youtube? I wish there were more parents like them (but I know not all parents have the luxury to spend so much time with their children either…).

  22. Anyway, no matter Francis Ng did it just to give his young son a lesson, I think he is very weird. His son was only 2 years old, and he did not even have a good understanding or memory. It is pointless to teach him that way. A child starts to have a good understanding and memory at the age of 5. I don’t want to know what he is going to do to his son thereafter. Perhaps it is better for his son to have education in Singapore. At least his son will only have strict disciplines and tough schooling, but no more abuses.

  23. someone should throw hot water on francis’ hands and push him down a flight of stairs, better still let nobody employ him, he can be a beggar.. that would toughen francis up

  24. Never expected him to be such a Tiger Dad. I think parents should be a child’s best friend and their conscience. Such disciplines are not necessary to make a child understand what they need to do, but that’s just my opinion (:

  25. why is he doing such idiotic things to his son? does he wish for his own dad to treat him in this manner also? or did his own dad did similar things to him to toughen him up?

    1. In most cases like this, there is a history of such treatment. It’s why it’s difficult to break the chain.

  26. Funny how most of you whom criticize Francis aren’t even parents yourselves. It’s easy to criticize when you’re not in his shoes.

    1. Though many of the readers may not be parents yet, I am sure they wouldn’t like their parents doing it to them while they were young.

    2. Actually, I am a parent, and I am revolted by his comments.

      I’ve been walking in his shoes for much longer, and I’d NEVER do what he suggests to my son.

  27. i’m with sehseh. the article is twisted. it’s like a recap of Francis “interview” with that lady host. aiyoh, forgot her name. but she’s ex of Ekin, Tony Leung, that lady….like something ji san. 😛 😳

    to reiterate sehseh’s post, Francis told the son not to touch something hot but he didn’t listen so Francis let him be. and the kid learned his lesson and exclaimed ‘hot hot’. something like that.

    and he didn’t push him down the stairs. it was the bed or something. he tried to crawl. and Francis gently gave him a nudge but held him back. should go check out the video clip of the interview.

    this article is old old old news trying to be new and yet twisted, inaccurate. must be really low season for news collection. 😛

    1. In order to verify the accuracy, I also read the article in Chinese from the source. Here is an excerpt:

      “鎮宇又反對現代家長的教導方式,佢話:「我硬係唔明白點解一定要同個仔接觸,日見夜見,去邊都黐住,親子對我來說係要同佢作對,蝦佢整喊佢,嗰時個仔兩歲,食親飯周身郁,我就第一時間將熱辣辣的碟辣落佢隻手度,等佢以後唔會再亂郁,喺屋企規定落樓梯要有人陪,佢唔聽,我就將佢推一推,佢跌親喊,咁佢咪知原來會跌,跌會痛,以後就唔再犯錯!依家如果佢做錯,會乖乖拎隻手出來俾我罰,所以佢同媽咪親近啲,我會蝦佢所以好驚我。」

      Francis did not pour hot soup on the hand of his 2-year old son, instead he gave his son a very hot plate. Still a very hot plate might have damaged his young son’s skin.

      Regarding the stairs, he did push his son down on the stairs, not in bed. But it could have been one or two steps.

      Agree that the English translation is not accurate at all, just as the same as other articles.

      1. Sandcherry,
        We try our best to be as accurate as possible in the articles posted on our site, however mistakes do occur once in awhile.

        The initial wording has been revised from “pouring a hot plate of food” to “placing a hot plate of food” to more accurately describe the incident.

        Also the article did not reference Francis putting his son in bed; this was a reader’s comment based on her recollection of hearing about the incident elsewhere.

        As to readers’ comments that Francis recounted the incidents slightly differently in a televised interview, we did not watch this interview and only based the above article from the Oriental Sunday version.

      2. Thanks, Jayne. I did not watch the interview either. I just made corrections based on the article in Chinese from the source “Oriental Sunday version”.

        Thanks again for making corrections. I just hope the translators will be more accurate in future. I was also misled by the article in English until someone mentioned about the incorrect wording.

      3. I think if you really want the news to translate well, maybe the translators should look at the interview clips enclosed (if possible) before translating. Why are you guys including the video interview clips if you guys aren’t even going to bother to check it out yourselves.. ?

        And actually, there has been several incidents where the translation was off / article has some errors in it or having really misleading headlines. Examples: that Chiliam Cheung birthday error, this article, and other articles as well.

      4. Translators / writers should really cross reference articles and do background research. Editor should check articles to ensure accuracy before posting on site. Granted it’s a site that offers free news, standards must be maintained, shouldn’t it Jayne? Afterall, it has advertisers to answer to.

        I may seem to always criticize the writing on the site. But as an ex-journalist and freelance writer, it irks me when people call themselves “editor” and “writer”, yet do not take pride in their work. The basic rule as a writer is ensure accuracy on what is reported.

      5. In fact, if the translator strictly translated the article from Chinese to English based on the Source “Oriental Sunday version”. We should accept it. However, it was translated in a completely different version.

        We should not justify the correctness vs. the televised interview. There is too much work involved. Those reporters are not really that professional. They always like to make more noises than needed.

      6. Sandcherry,
        Our articles are not meant as verbatim translations, but rather convey the information at issue to the readers.

        Primrose,
        We will work harder to avoid future editorial errors.

      1. @ppearl,
        Thanks for the video link. This article is definitely old/2012 news and twisting Francis’ own words against him. I’m sure Francis would not have allowed the slightest harm to come to his own child. Example, the pot was probably not hot enough to do harm and he was probably there to catch his child from the fall. Misleading rubbish!!! Wonder who is behind this “mudslinging” article? Hmmm…

    2. Thanks for the info ppearl! I had a feeling that this article is not true since I have seen Francis on screen ever since he was still an extra and have followed his news and all. Therefore, from what I know and feel he does not seem like that kind of father. He may be strict, but of course he would still love son and would abuse him like that. Francis can sue these reporters for ruining his reputation and relation with his son. I would be really mad if I were Francis.

      1. Oops meant to say “would NOT abuse him like that”. Boy, I really need the edit button.

  28. It would not shock me one bit if Francis IS the ‘tough love’ type of parents but this article sounds exaggerating at best. Even if Francis was borderline abusive to his son, would he tell people? And if not, how would the tabloids know?

    1. Agreed, it doesn’t make sense at all for Francis to hang himself. He’s been in the e-industry long enough to know the game.

      I notice each time Francis/Chilam make a negative comment about Fala’s poor acting, right away a negative article about them would follow. Maybe too coincidental? Hmmm…

  29. I believe different methods works on different kids. Sometimes too pamper a child is not good too.

  30. The article had mis interprete and does not do him justice, as I believed this is not what he originally said in an interview I saw on tv last year.
    He did an interview with Lai Tse San last year in her talk show, interviewing “Best Actor” called Telling Maria, and she asked him on his parenting thoughts and he did explain he wants his son to grow up independant and well behaved.
    Try catch the interview.

    1. yah yah yah….that was the interview. i posted the link above. 😉

    2. Yes I watched that interview too and this article seems to have mis represented and distorted some of the things Francis actually said. In the same show, Anthony Wong also professed to dishing out tough love for his sons. I think it’s because these two actors come from a tough childhood themselves and want their kids to know that the world is not bright and sunny outside. But it didn’t come across in their interviews that they were absuive fathers.

      Also, for Francis’ son to register in Pei Chun Public School – he must be at least six. (Article said 4). Pei Chun takes students from ages 7 onwards. And according to the Singapore laws, you only register your child at 6 to start school the following year.

  31. My first reaction after reading this is about how extreme the parenting style Francis use and it’s borderline abusive. In certain countries he can be jailed already, but looks like some has pointed that it’s an exaggerated version from the TV interview.

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