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Wong Cho Lam and Leanne Li in a No Sex Relationship

By on March 25, 2011

Wong Cho Lam and Leanne Li in a No Sex Relationship thumbnail

Dating for two years, devout Christians, Wong Cho Lam and Leanne Li pledged to abstain from sex before marriage. They often included their friends on their romantic dates. When sexual temptations crossed their minds, Cho Lam and Leanne will quickly pray to God for assistance. Wearing matching chastity rings, Cho Lam and Leanne will monitor each other to resist desire.

Promised Vows

Earlier this year, Cho Lam gave Leanne a simply patterned ring, engraved with the words, “Love + Purity.”  The ring was a symbol of the Christian practice of remaining chaste before marriage. Cho Lam gave the chastity ring to Leanne as a token of love, while wearing a matching ring himself. Although the pair do not have marriage intentions at this stage, Cho Lam allegedly vowed a lifelong committment to Leanne when he gave her the chastity ring.

“The pair of chastity rings represent a couple’s vows, including abstinence from pre-marital sex,   belief in monogamy, and lifetime devotion to each other. Cho Lam and Leanne said they regarded their chastity rings with equal importance as wedding rings,” a source close to the couple revealed.

To abstain from pre-marital sex, Cho Lam and Leanne had to take several precautionary measures. They refused to live together and often went on dates while accompanied by other friends. They avoided situations where they would be by themselves in a dwelling, in which temptation would abound. Two years of abstinence was not easy. Wearing chastity rings reminded Cho Lam and Leanne to refrain from eating forbidden fruit.

Revealing Chastity Rings on Facebook

Cho Lam and Leanne revealed photos of their chastity rings on Facebook. Leanne followed the common practice of wearing her chastity ring on her left hand, until one day it would be replaced by her wedding ring. The engraved words, “Love + Purity” would provide vigilance in their relationship. 
  
Cho Lam Admits He Thought About Sex

Dating Leanne for two years, Cho Lam frankly admitted that occasionally he would be tempted, “I would be lying if I said I never thought about having sex. However, Leanne and I both place God first. During tense moments, we will immediately pray together. In the last two years, we were able to resist temptation. Perhaps some people will say this was silly, but we know we are doing the right thing. The chastity rings represent our shared values.”

Since Leanne’s Cantonese was not good, this often resulted in humorous situations. Cho Lam revealed, “A friend asked Leanne what kind of ring she was wearing. Leanne said ‘a clean ring!’ Haha, she said ‘clean’ instead of ‘chastity’ (貞潔變清潔). I laughed hilariously.”

To quell their temptation, Leanne and Cho Lam often prayed together. Leanne said, “Whenever Cho Lam has a bad thought, he will ask me to pray with him. He has done very well. Although we do not wear our chastity rings everyday, we have followed the Commandments over the last two years.” Receiving the chastity ring made Leanne happier than receiving a diamond ring. “I feel very much at ease having a boyfriend who will not be easily tempted.”

Although dating for two years, allegedly Cho Lam did not receive Leanne’s parents’ approval yet. Since the couple will be attending a Christian outreach event in Canada later this year, Cho Lam will likely visit Leanne’s parents and hopefully receive their approval.

    

Excerpt from Next Magazine #1098

Jayne: Removing sex from a relationship allows a couple to focus on enjoying their companionship and sharing ideas, rather than be distracted by lust.  Having an intense physical relationship can indeed distract you from realizing the truth in other aspects of the relationship.

Pre-marital abstinence indeed seems like a rarity these days. Cho Lam and Leanne have made an effort to abide by shared values which are important to them. Their story serves as an inspiration to an alternative in romantic relationships: heart and mind over body.

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  • Readers' Comments (67)

    1. HeTieShou says:

      WOW, so many Hk artists are Christian..I guess it was due to the British influence. It is rare to be in a relationship with no sex. My mom still believes in that and expects me to as well… However, will all guys be able to resist the temptation these days???

      • Kaytie says:

        @HeTieShou, It is good that they are making a commitment to each other and not to have pre-marital sex. No lust can distract both of their influences on what they truly believe. I’m amazed and very proud of what they’re doing. I think a lot of people should really think about it before making a mistake.

        My parents don’t believe in pre-marital sex and would not like the idea that they would have a grandchild when in fact I’m not financially stable. But in my opinion, I think guys would not be able to resist the temptation and they want to “explore” it. Know what I mean? :-P Also, there’s a lot of influences that make them not wanting to resist their needs.

        • HeTieShou says:

          @kaytie,
          I totally agree with you and did not say that it isn’t good to not have pre-martial sex. I actually admire people that can hold off until marriage because it is hard to do. However, do you honestly think that Wong Cho Lam and Leanne Li are both virgins??If they aren’t, it’s not like they have not done it before so there is no need to explore anything because it is should all be too familiar to them.

          My parents both don’t believe in it either since they are traditional. However, it is sort of ideal as well as hard for many people to resist it these days, which is why we have all of these unplanned pregnancies and other issues. My parents also don’t believe in having kids before marriage because they think it is a disgrace. IN today’s society, it is not a big deal but in the world that they lived in it is very shameful.

        • Kaytie says:

          @HeTieShou, sorry but I can’t seem to navigate or understand on commenting on each other’s thing so I’ll have to reply it back this way.

          I think that since they both expressed their views about not having pre-marital sex in their interviews I will take their word for it. It sounds like I’m being naive for believing that they are both still virgins but it doesn’t mean that I will believe it 100% on it. There’s still that possibility that they are not given the fact of how today’s society where young teens are having pre-marital sex. It’s become a common norm at least it is here in America. It’s hard to say if they are or not so I won’t comment on that too much.

          But just out of curiosity, if you were Leanne or Cho Lam would you openly discuss about not having sex before marriage to the media?

          It is a disgrace to the family name but it’s also an embarrassment to the entire family especially in any community. Most of the older generations won’t accept this trend and norm and they will constantly criticize this issue whenever it is brought up.

        • HeTieShou says:

          @kaytie,
          I am sort of confused about how to respond directly too so it is ok. I am glad to read and find your message.

          I used to be really naive and thought that everyone was a virgin until they got married. However, as I got older I realized that that is not the case at all. I guess I was raised that way because my parents believed and always said that you should be until you are married. However, my parents were very ideal and still live in the old world. They think that having a baby in wedlock is a big disgrace. But then they have been known to contradict themselves since a number of my cousins all had kids in wedlock. My parents said it was ok which shocked me. But to me, they are always so strict and said that I have wait until marriage.

          I am not a famous person but I honestly, I think I would talk about it to the media if it were necessary. I have always been open and honest(and only lie when necessary) which is why I hate it when artists lie to their teeth unless they had a good reason to. IN Leanne and Wong Cho Lam’s case, I wonder if they talked about it to promote their religion?? They are saying that they are devoted Christians which is why they are saying that they will not have sex until marriage.

    2. Sky says:

      I bet that dude is gay, what a waste of time. For the girl, she’s still purity? I doubt that…..the whole no sex before marriage is a lie. 95% of those who believe in no sex before marriage are already have sex.

      • FanWen says:

        So I guess Vanness Wu from F4 is gay too then? So close minded. I’m 22 and I never had sex either. Just because someone is a certain way does not mean they are gay or lying.

        • sky says:

          what does Vanness have to do with Wong Cho? n r u a guy or girl?

        • HeTieShou says:

          Well Vanness has done it before already so it’s not like he is virgin. I am 31 and have never done it so yea, just because someone has not done it doesn’t mean that they are gay or are lying… However, it is generally true that many people these days lost it at a young age.

        • HeTieShou says:

          @sky,
          FanWen bought up Vanness because Vanness is also a devoted Christian that said that he will have sex again until he is married. He lost it at the age of 17 already though..

        • HeTieShou says:

          Oops, I meant that say that Vanness said that he will NOT have sex until he is married.

        • Sky says:

          ok, Vanness isn’t a devoted Christian b/c he committed sin. next argument…

        • FanWen says:

          The thing is he’s a devoted Christian NOW and it’s a good thing that he plans to wait until marriage. He regrets his past so that’s something good. At least it’s not like other people who probably have sex every night with different people just because they are celebrities.

        • HeTieShou says:

          @Sky,
          Whoever said that Christians never committed sins?? Everyone sins… I actually get scare of devoted Christians because they are way too religious and base everything in their life on religion.

        • Sky says:

          @ HeTieShou
          “Whoever said that Christians never committed sins??” themselves……they think they are always right and everybody else is wrong.

        • Sky says:

          @FanWen:
          devoted Christian NOW mean NOTHING!
          devoted Christian = gain more fans = sell more products = more money to bang more girls/guys.

        • FanWen says:

          @Sky,
          Not even gonna jump into this argument because obviously you will only listen to your own words.

        • HeTieShou says:

          @Sky,
          I guess you are bias against Christians so I honestly don’t know what to say. I personally do admit that I get annoyed by some Christians or just anyone that is overly religious since I don’t believe that everyone who is religious is a good person. But it varies and people can believe in what they like… I do agree that just because someone is a devoted Christian does not automatically make them a good person.

        • Sky says:

          @ HeTieShou: i’m not bias! i go to church for 10 years!

          @ FanWen: go worship ur Vanness poster….

        • FanWen says:

          Yea ok

        • HeTieShou says:

          @Sky,
          If you have been to church for 10 years then I really don’t get why you seem so anti Christian? Oh wait, I guess you are Catholic right??

        • Ben says:

          @HeTieShou – You mean catholic are anti-christian?

          @Sky – God ask us to repent, not to never sin! Because we are all born with original sin. As long as we repent, God will take us back. God loves us, he does not condemn us for our sins if we repent!!!

          What society does now and before are the choices that they’ve made. It doesn’t give them the right to say doing certain things now is not a sin but if you have done it 30yrs ago it is a sin. Having sex with someone who is not your lawful wife is committing a sin, period!!!

      • TiewNiaSeng says:

        Don’t try to believe the actors and actresses.They are just like in the movies

    3. impmuse says:

      Good on them!!!

      I 100% support them for their beliefs, and courage and persistence to carry them out in a permissive society that embraces contrary behaviour.

    4. Pvt. Joker says:

      Um yeah… here’s what I think about her –

      Beard: Any opposite sex escort taken to an event in an effort to give a homosexual person the apperance of being out on a date with a person of the opposite sex.

    5. impmuse says:

      Pvt lover – do you have any evidence that Wong Cho Lam is gay, and that Leanne Li is a sex escort?

      Don’t imply that what you ‘think’ of them is truth!

      • Pvt. Joker says:

        Did I say it was the truth? Just expressing my opinion just like how you did. He could be closeted, you never know limpmuse

    6. iampheng says:

      I admire their ambition to remain chaste before marriage. However, I’m not sure how realistic it is, especially in both of their chosen fields where good looking people are a dime a dozen. In addition, always having dates in a group and praying when “impure” thoughts are in their heads? That’s a lot of work! I HAVE seen couples who have honored the chastity promise in real life though, even after longterm dating, they still remained chaste until marriage.

      I am antsy about using the word “purity” for virginity since I don’t think anyone who is a non-virgin is “impure”; furthermore, I don’t think sex is “dirty” or has the ability to corrupt. In the article, it is never stated that either Leanne or Cho Lam are virgins, they could be born again virgins like Vanness Wu. But I guess the point of the article is just to tell the public about their chaste relationship.

      I’ll be frank, personally, if I were in a relationship where I was intensely attracted to the other person, lust would be GREAT distraction for me because then I’d think about sex constantly. I’m sorry, I just don’t have their patience lol

    7. Funn Lim says:

      This is a bit too much information for me. But if they think abstaining is what they want, by all means. But it can also mean a swift wedding. I wonder, any kissing?

    8. lol says:

      i enjoy vaness as an entertainer but he seriously needs to stop preaching about god!!! it’s a joke the way he talks about being a good christain this and that, but all does is sell sex, his image is sex driven, always topless and calls it art lol, please!

      • Sky says:

        lol………AMEN!

      • SDS says:

        @lol

        Its called the ‘Hillsong way’. No offence to anyone else of course. Its just a very openly evangelical practise of Christianity. It puts some off but really connects with many others- especially the younger western generation.

      • HeTieShou says:

        I totally agree with you lol. I mean I like Vanness and all, but he seriously needs to stop preaching about god. Not just him, but Ada Choi and anyone else who goes on and on and on about God. I actually get annoyed with anyone who is blinded by religion because it seems like they cannot think for themselves and have to rely on religion for everything. Religion seems to be controlling them. I do admit that Vanness is kind of a hypocrite. He goes on and on about god, but at the same time his image seems so sexual… Geez… I actually liked him more before he claimed to be a devoted Christian…

    9. lol says:

      what i meant to say is my dear vaness is a big hypercrite :).

    10. Kidd says:

      I admire them for being devoted and true to faith amidst all the temptations in the entertainment world. Bravo to them.

      Always going on dates while accompanied by other friends is a bit extreme. Not ‘two people world’. But, whatever works for them.

      • SDS says:

        @Kidd

        Given they are devout Christians, or so it seems, there is no concept of a ‘two person world’ since God is always there :P Hope you get my drift… Of course its not enough having the invisible being there. Humans just need the sense of visibility. Hence they go on dates with friends. Just hope their friends don’t have any kinky ideas.

    11. Aly says:

      Good for them. It’s hard to find couples like them now in the entertainment industry where temptation prevails. I was shocked when I first found out that they were together, but seeing how both of them are devout Christians and share the same values, they seem to be very much in love and compatible with each other.
      But, at the same time, I don’t believe that those who are not virgins or have sex before marriage as people who sinned or did something wrong. It’s not a crime to have sex. It’s normal and a part of life. It’s just each person’s values are different as to whether they want to have sex before or after marriage.

    12. yuaida says:

      If you were a normal hot-blooded decent woman and had Cho Lam as a boyfriend (hahahahahaha), you wouldn’t think of sex either. There is not one ounce of sex appeal when you look at that under-developed, never-reached-puberty midget who still acts like a 14 year old and even looks like one. I admire the girl for treating him as her boyfriend but it definitely should not be hard to not think about sex when you’re looking at a little dwarf like Cho Lam………….

      • SDS says:

        @yuaida

        Now now, don’t be mean, we all thought of that already – no need to make it explicit :) But not everyone is as shallow as you, remember that.

        • yuaida says:

          Hahaha, that is quite the funny response and it gave me a good laugh about the shallow part…..yes, I was quite shallow with my comments but don’t you think I hit the spot dead on………!

      • HeTieShou says:

        WOW, you are being mean. Remember that there is more to a relationship then physical appearance. Leanne has already agreed to be his girlfriend so she obviously has to find something attractive about him. Attractive does not always have to be something physical.

      • Judy says:

        Though I would not word it as you did, I have to agree that there has to be some degree of attraction for a relationship to work. With a man half my size, I’d feel no “on-chune-gum” – especially when he dresses as a woman half the time. I’m not saying he has to be great looking or anything… personality manners more, but girl’s gotta have some expectations! And i honestly do believe that he is gay.. that’s must my opinion – and if he’s a christian, it’s just not allowed, so maybe that’s why chastity is sooo easy for him!

        • HeTieShou says:

          You are not allowed to be gay if you are Christian?? I don’t think any religion has the right to regulate your sexuality like that…. If Christianity were so open, good and forgiving as claimed by its followers, then why are they not allowing gays to join their religion? I don’t feel that is right..

        • Judy says:

          It’s not that they don’t allow gays to join their religion… they are welcome to join, but Christians believe that engaging in homosexual acts is sinful, so if someone is gay/lesbian, the church encourages them to abstain from homosexual acts. The bible says all sins are the same in the eyes of god, so having sex b4 marriage would be just as sinful as being gay. I don’t agree with it either… but that’s the way it is.

        • Kidd says:

          Shu Qi in ‘Gorgeous':

          安全感係自己畀自己嘅。
          (on chuen gam hai ji gei bei ji gei ge)
          (The sense of security is given by yourself to yourself.)

          Maybe Leanne subscribe to this motto too. :P

          Maybe Leanne like him for his talent and devotedness and the fact that they both have similar belief in their faith.

        • Ben says:

          @Judy – you said “The bible says all sins are the same in the eyes of god, so having sex b4 marriage would be just as sinful as being gay. I don’t agree with it either… but that’s the way it is.”

          I would correct your sentence to “so having sex b4 marriage would be just as sinful as having sex with a gay”.

          If the gay person doesn’t engage in homosexual activities, the church will accept him/her. The church condemns people who commits sins, not their race/sexuality/background.

      • SDS says:

        @yuaida

        You’ll incur the wrath of the conscientious commentators by being explicitly shallow. Good as a joke, if you want to be not-so-subtle.

        However the fact HK tabloids want to keep asking about this topic is obviously an allusion to your type of thinking.

        Of course looked at it your way, sex being a physical act for gratification has little to do with how your partner looks, but more what they do. Remember the age old saying- ‘turn off the lights, and this hole is just as good as the other’.

    13. Darren says:

      Trust me, if his friend takes him clubbing, i can promise you that he will lose his virginity in a heartbeat!

    14. SDS says:

      @Jayne

      “Removing sex from a relationship allows a couple to focus on enjoying their companionship and sharing ideas, rather than be distracted by lust. Having…”

      Unless you subscribe to the idea of catharsis or its derivatives and cousins.

      • HeTieShou says:

        I wonder if it will then turn their relationship into a close friendship type of relationship rather than a romantic boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? One of my classmates once told me that the big difference between being a close friend with a guy and being a guys girlfriend was that if you were their girlfriend, then you would have to have sex with them… That was her definition… Many have told me that a relationship without sex or any intense physical intimacy may not always be good or will turn the relationship into a close friendship instead.. I wonder how true that is???

        • Judy says:

          Part of having a good marriage/relationship is that you are good/close friends… friendship is the foundation of any good relationship.. In a sexual relationship.. once the passion is gone, if there is nothing else there, there will be nothing to hold two people together. That’s how it is in my experience.

        • HeTieShou says:

          @Judy,
          Yea, I know that of course you have to be good friends and that is a very important part of any relationship. But my point was that if all you have is friendship, then that is all that it will be. Having the passion is also a very important part of a relationship/marriage since that is what makes it more than just a normal friendship. Basically, a relationship/marriage has to have several elements in order to last and be successful.

        • Funn Lim says:

          I wonder do marriages where the couple admits they’re best of friends ever truly a marriage? Call me traditional, for me marriage is a union of 2 people in love, and passion plays a large part, later on companionship on the level of soul mates. But you don’t tell your wife or husband everything like you do your best friends.

        • HeTieShou says:

          Relationships are really complicated.. I was talking about to one of my close friends one time and she was telling me that it is a lot. You have to be their friend first of all, but not necessarily best friend. But you also have to have the romantic passion in there too or else you are just “friends” and can only have a friendship. Sadly, a lot of the times that one that you marry may not be your “best friend” or your soul mate. There are times that you are closer to your friends than your husband/wife which may be the reason why you would tell your best/close friends everything and not your husband/wife. My friend is happily married but still tries to hide many things from her husband.

    15. Kidd says:

      I do not think there is any problem with them saving it for marriage.

      Many people nowadays say you have to have sex in a love relationship or it wouldn’t be a love relationship/your relationship wouldn’t be good/it will turn platonic. But, many people in this world also practice abstinence before marriage and their relationship is still fine.

      It’s not like Leanne and Cho Lam will not have sex ever. They are just putting it off until they give the vow.

      There’s one interesting thing I’ve read about in a Jewish marriage. If you follow strictly orthodox Jewish marriage rule, half of every month, a couple not only cannot have sex, but, cannot even have body contact. But, from the experience of some who practice it, they say, this allow them to understand and connect with each other in a more emotional and mental level (forgot whether they say spiritual level or not). That’s what they say.

    16. maggie says:

      Here’s my 2 cents. I think Leanne is just dating Wong Cho Lam b/c her career is going no where. Aside from some minor TVB roles, she’s pretty much an unknown. Wong Cho Lam is not the best looking guy, but his popularity in HK is sky high at the moment.

      I’m sure they’re both religious to some point….. BUT i’m almost positive that this whole “no sex before marriage” thing is Leanne’s way of gaining fame without having to sleep with this guy!!

      And why would they bring this up to the media? Simple… She wants everyone to know that NO – they are NOT having sex. Keeps her image squeaky clean and lets her obtain what she really wants – FAME.

      • Funn Lim says:

        Or maybe she is a devout christian who has a stand on the issue of sex before marriage? She seems rather decent. Wong Cho Lam is famous but NOT that famous. She would have done herself more favours by throwing herself at TVB executives.

      • Kidd says:

        Agree with Funn.

        I do think that this ‘no sex before marriage’ thing is more on Leanne’s term. But, I believe that the reason is truly because Leanne is a devout Christian.

        • Funn Lim says:

          No sex doesn’t mean no nothing. Who knows how they entertain themselves when in private.

        • Kidd says:

          If what the article said is true, there’s no private moment.

        • Funn Lim says:

          Of course can’t spell it out. It is their business. I won’t believe no kissing at all. What kinda relationship is no kissing? Wouldn’t they be more friends than potential life mates?

        • HeTieShou says:

          I personally think that they may not go full blast and have “sex”. However, I think that they would touch each other, hold hands and kiss. If they did none of that, then they honestly sound more like close friends than a couple.

      • HeTieShou says:

        No one knows the complete truth besides them… We as an audience can only speculate and guess… Who really knows??

      • yuaida says:

        Very well said and much of it I agree with. This is the only way Leanne can leave Cho Lam once she gets the fame and attention she wants. After she leaves him, she can still pursue other decent guys with dignity and claim that she didn’t have an intimate relationship with a “never-reached-puberty” boy. Can you imagine how her future or potential boyfriends would feel knowing that her prior choice and taste in men is so “Loooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww”!

    17. jayzemine says:

      I find Leanne to be quite pretty and am quite shock that Cho Lam is her bf but since they were together for two years, that must mean something. They must have mutual understanding and respect for each other to last this long. I don’t see it as a scam. I think she is a smart girl because I think Cho Lam treats her really well. And nowadays with so many scums out there, why not learn to love someone who respects and loves you.

    18. popcorn says:

      Just the fact that it’s publicized makes me doubt the whole thing. -_-

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