Wong Cho Lam and Leanne Li in a No Sex Relationship
Dating for two years, devout Christians, Wong Cho Lam and Leanne Li pledged to abstain from sex before marriage. They often included their friends on their romantic dates. When sexual temptations crossed their minds, Cho Lam and Leanne will quickly pray to God for assistance. Wearing matching chastity rings, Cho Lam and Leanne will monitor each other to resist desire.
Earlier this year, Cho Lam gave Leanne a simply patterned ring, engraved with the words, “Love + Purity.” The ring was a symbol of the Christian practice of remaining chaste before marriage. Cho Lam gave the chastity ring to Leanne as a token of love, while wearing a matching ring himself. Although the pair do not have marriage intentions at this stage, Cho Lam allegedly vowed a lifelong committment to Leanne when he gave her the chastity ring.
“The pair of chastity rings represent a couple’s vows, including abstinence from pre-marital sex, belief in monogamy, and lifetime devotion to each other. Cho Lam and Leanne said they regarded their chastity rings with equal importance as wedding rings,” a source close to the couple revealed.
To abstain from pre-marital sex, Cho Lam and Leanne had to take several precautionary measures. They refused to live together and often went on dates while accompanied by other friends. They avoided situations where they would be by themselves in a dwelling, in which temptation would abound. Two years of abstinence was not easy. Wearing chastity rings reminded Cho Lam and Leanne to refrain from eating forbidden fruit.
Revealing Chastity Rings on Facebook
Cho Lam and Leanne revealed photos of their chastity rings on Facebook. Leanne followed the common practice of wearing her chastity ring on her left hand, until one day it would be replaced by her wedding ring. The engraved words, “Love + Purity” would provide vigilance in their relationship.
Cho Lam Admits He Thought About Sex
Dating Leanne for two years, Cho Lam frankly admitted that occasionally he would be tempted, “I would be lying if I said I never thought about having sex. However, Leanne and I both place God first. During tense moments, we will immediately pray together. In the last two years, we were able to resist temptation. Perhaps some people will say this was silly, but we know we are doing the right thing. The chastity rings represent our shared values.”
Since Leanne’s Cantonese was not good, this often resulted in humorous situations. Cho Lam revealed, “A friend asked Leanne what kind of ring she was wearing. Leanne said ‘a clean ring!’ Haha, she said ‘clean’ instead of ‘chastity’ (貞潔變清潔). I laughed hilariously.”
To quell their temptation, Leanne and Cho Lam often prayed together. Leanne said, “Whenever Cho Lam has a bad thought, he will ask me to pray with him. He has done very well. Although we do not wear our chastity rings everyday, we have followed the Commandments over the last two years.” Receiving the chastity ring made Leanne happier than receiving a diamond ring. “I feel very much at ease having a boyfriend who will not be easily tempted.”
Although dating for two years, allegedly Cho Lam did not receive Leanne’s parents’ approval yet. Since the couple will be attending a Christian outreach event in Canada later this year, Cho Lam will likely visit Leanne’s parents and hopefully receive their approval.
Excerpt from Next Magazine #1098
Jayne: Removing sex from a relationship allows a couple to focus on enjoying their companionship and sharing ideas, rather than be distracted by lust. Having an intense physical relationship can indeed distract you from realizing the truth in other aspects of the relationship.
Pre-marital abstinence indeed seems like a rarity these days. Cho Lam and Leanne have made an effort to abide by shared values which are important to them. Their story serves as an inspiration to an alternative in romantic relationships: heart and mind over body.