Ruco Chan (陳展鵬) believes that we live in a different era now. Parents nowadays are able to manage their time better and not neglect their family due to work. There is also more mutual respect and an emphasis on listening to everyone’s needs. Juggling parenting responsibilities with his wife Phoebe Sin (單文柔), they are partners in raising their 2-year-old daughter Quinta together.
Wants to Be a Flexible Dad
“In the past, my impression of my father was that there was no room for negotiation. Everything he said was an order. I don’t want to compare with the past generation–it’s just that today’s culture is different. Many of my friends are great fathers, and place a heavy emphasis on bonding. They will also be very up to date on any parenting issues,” Ruco mused.
When he was younger, Ruco was often labelled as mischievous even though he believes he was just an overly curious boy. Realizing that children are inherently curious, he tries to strike a balance between his daughter’s curiosity and safety. “Other than flammable home electronics and outlets, I let my daughter explore everything within a safe environment.”
Though he allows Quinta to use electronic devices, they are within reasonable limits. “How can you ban them entirely? My daughter will also be curious as to why adults look at their phones all day. If there are too many rules, then they will cause other problems. She will learn from her experience and know what she likes. If you prevent her from exploring then it’s like the forbidden fruit–she’ll keep thinking about it.” Now that he is a father, he has learned that letting go is part of the process, and allowing children to make mistakes is the best way for them to learn.
No Communication Problems With Wife
Ruco feels that taking care of a family is also the father’s responsibility, and would work together with Phoebe to manage their time. “For example, if my wife needs to work, then I’ll take care of our daughter.”
Since they have a 13-year age gap, sometimes they encounter differences in opinion. Ruco revealed, “My generation and her generation think very differently. There’s no right or wrong, it’s just that the world is evolving too quickly. I also need to learn about what my wife is thinking in order to communicate.”
Phoebe Urges Him to Pick Up Music Again
It was also Phoebe who motivated Ruco to pick up his music career again. “She will often nitpick, but she is also the one that told me that I need to learn how to sing.” The couple would also discuss different singing styles. Ruco shared, “She likes a simpler style which is different from me.”
Earlier this year, Ruco signed with a new music company to fulfill his dream of becoming a singer. He has released four singles, including “Zero” <零歲> which was inspired by Quinta. “Initially, I couldn’t sing ‘Zero’. It seemed too sad and too vulnerable. But now, I don’t feel that way anymore because I understand more.”
Every time he puts on his headphones to listen to “Zero”, Quinta would become curious and wants to listen to it. “This was her first time using headphones and it was to listen to my song, so it was a great memory. This song is my gift to her, and her reaction was very pure and she quickly started to sing along.”
He believes that music nowadays has improved, with many songs and lyrics all produced by the same person. This motivates Ruco to want to learn more. “The process of learning makes me feel like I’ve returned to TVB artiste training class, and my passion has been reignited. I have new goals to achieve.”
This article is written by Kiki for JayneStars.com.