Huang Zitao Vents on Weibo: “I Want to Disappear for a Period of Time”

Chinese rapper and singer Huang Zitao (黄子韬) is under a lot of pressure, and his long message on Weibo is causing fans to worry about his current state.

In his long message, the former EXO member wrote that he was “tired and annoyed to the point where [he] could barely breathe” and remarked his fear of taking days off work, as he didn’t want to impede the crew’s filming progress. With more shows to film and more dance routines to memorize, Tao is at a breaking point.

“To tell you the truth, I don’t want to do anything at this moment,” he said. “I can’t make it to the annual company meeting, I haven’t been home, [and] I could never celebrate any holidays. I don’t even know what day it is. Truly, this pressure is making it difficult to breathe. I can’t really breathe right now […] I really want to disappear for a period of time so I don’t have to think or do anything.”

The 24-year-old debuted six years ago as a member of the K-pop boy band EXO. He left the group in 2015 following a lawsuit with the group’s agency, S.M. Entertainment.

“It’s been six years and this is my first time saying something like this. I know there would definitely be people saying how you’re an entertainer and this is something you should endure. I know, and that’s why I’ve endured too much.”

Tao compared his life to that of hell, saying, “From my [life’s] perspective, I feel that my life is not that much different from a living hell. I’m not living as blissful and happily as you all think. Don’t say I’m being dramatic, it’s actually me being strong. It’s just that during this period of time, I really feel like my heart and body are so tired to the point where I can’t breathe. It’s suppressing me. I’m sorry for worrying you all. I’m even more sorry to myself.”


This article is written by Addy for

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  1. One too many suicides from young idols. I do not know anything about Zitao except he is very famous as are all the former EXO members. Hope his company will give him some time off to ease the pressure. It may be a call for help. Remember only recently Kimi and JongHyun. No need to add another statistic.

    1. @mangotango
      I agree and being in this industry is so much work and pressure. I feel so bad for the artists. Beneath all of the fame, fortune and glamour is a dark world of pain and stress that many do not see. I truly feel bad for them all. Hope their agencies give them more time to rest before they are stressed til depression which sadly can cause someone to end their life. Very tragic and sad indeed.

  2. I feel so bad for him. These agencies can be a pain in the butt. They don’t want these artistes to date, if they do they want to dictate who, and how they should date. They want them to lie if caught dating. They want them to live a facade that is not their lives. Not to hang with certain friends, not to drink or smoke in public. It does not look good for the perfect, angelic image that the public worships. Well idols get drunk too. Perfect examples….. Mike He and Joe Cheng smoke like chimneys and gets drunker than a skunk too, because they are human, and that is okay.. Add the fact that these artistes are supposed to work like machines with no time off. That is hard on the body and the mental stability of anyone. I could go on all day about these cold hearted agency people.The agencies do not care. All they see is ka ching, cha ching.

    My heart goes out to Huang Zitao and I hope he gets the time and space he needs to get his body and mind in stable condition. Too many young, talented artistes ate committing suicide. I hope he gets some counselling too. Sounds l8ke he could talk to someone.

    1. @bubbletea Great. I am now imagining Mike and Joe looking like skunks with smoke coming out of their chimney like heads. LOL. Having said that, that’s their prerogative to smoke and drink so long no one gets hurt (ie. drunk driving). I would rather admire someone who confess he/she is not perfect than people who pretend they are.

      From the agency’s perspective, as you said it, milk as much as they can from their investments on the young idols since they are currently famous. And if the complain they are tired, tell the idols that “that is a celeb’s life. You have to be tough.” It is like telling .. ‘stop complaining. If you want to be a celeb, you have to work non stop and accept the adulation together with the insults’. And not forgetting that there are mafia like organisations and PPRZs who are defamation specialists.

      And yes they are human and all humans have their vulnerabilities. I was curious about JongHyun (don’t even know who he was until he committed suicide since I am not Kpop fan) and read his parting letter. It appeared there were tremendous pressure for him to write, perform and continue to be what he was not. He finally cracked like in most suicides. I think seeing a psychiatrist or counselling may be something frowned upon in the Asian societies. That probably did not make it any easier for these idols to be upfront about their state of mind and health and be candid about their problems and need for help. I think part of the problem lies not only within the agencies’s attitude but cultural and society’s demands. The agencies are feeding what they felt society want. Perfection. I do not think celeb’s suicides are as prevalent in the western societies?

  3. Is he with an agengy or he runs his own company?

    If he’s his own boss, then he should take time off after wrapping up his current projects. Health is more important.

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