Wong Hei: “I Will Never Get Married In My Lifetime!”

Caption: Wong Hei shopping with good friend, Ming Jai.

Wong Hei’s (王喜) love life has often been a discussion topic. His significant other was exposed by the media as  cohabitation partner, “Cousin” Ming Jai. Surprisingly, several years ago, Wong Hei’s ex-girlfriend was revealed to be DJ Kawaii. As to whether Wong Hei loved men or women, he was reluctant in clarifying the matter. Disagreeing with traditional marriage concepts, Wong Hei professed that he will not marry for the rest of his life!

Wong Hei revealed, “I am already 44-years-old. My mother did not ask me whether I will get married or not, since I have already ‘announced’ that I have no intention of getting married. In modern society, not everyone needs to get married. I have to admit that I advocate the ‘polygamous’ system while modern society pursues a monogamous marriage. Due to modern lifestyles, there are many problems in how people interact with each other. In a one-to-one [relationship], there is no way to divert one’s attention. When you see your partner gaining weight and losing hair, the other half has no choice; it is not easy to travel through an entire lifetime in a one-to-one arrangement!

Not To Be Deceived By A Love Story

“Today’s information systems are rich and developed, offering many variables for people to choose. Men can pair with women, men can pair with men, and women pair with women. Who will I pair with? Ha ha…. I can only say that I have two cats (to accompany me). However, I understand the importance of communication between two living beings. Do not be deceived by a love story. The person you are living with is not the person you love. The illusion of the person you love may deliver a certain impression. However, whether two people can love each other is dependent on whether they can share the sweet, sour, bitter, and spicy aspects of life.

“To see whether ‘love’ can exist in harmony, you have to see whether the other person will remain with you should you lose a leg or arm. Good things may not happen in life.  Everyone is powerless to change some personal habits. I would regard [the person] as a sick patient. Let me ask you, would you start counting the issues with a patient? If you can ‘cure’ him, then that is another matter. Otherwise, do not intend to change him/her. If he goes to the bathroom and does not flush the toilet, you flush it for him! Even if you blame him for snoring, you should accept it because he does not want to be this way…. Always focus on positive thinking; if you gather your strength collectively, wouldn’t it be better to open up a better future together? This is a tolerant attitude and I am the object of such tolerance!

A Thousand Years’ Effort To Sleep On the Same Pillow

“In life, many small and large matters are realized through love, in which love is accumulated and then reflected upon, and where processes can be sustained in the presence of love. In exercising today’s marriages, a pair of newlyweds make commitments to each other under the presence of a multitude of seated family members and friends. They are driven too much by a formal objective and stay together due to a promise. If there were no promise, then does that mean you do not have the condition to love?

“Have you ever considered why your partner sleeps by your side? As the old saying goes: ‘a hundred years’ efforts is required to cross in the same ferryboat; a thousand years effort is required to sleep on the same pillow’ [it takes a long time to match romantic fates and thus a marriage should be cherished 百年修得同船渡,千年修得共枕眠].  As a modern man, I will say, ‘Even if you have a 10,000 square feet mansion, it is incomparable to having someone wait for you to come home to a 100 square feet suite.’ Who is the person sleeping next to me? I will not tell you!”


Source: Oriental Daily

Jayne: Wong Hei is such a cryptic tease! He possesses non-traditional views on love and questions modern society’s rigid system in marriage, in which vows are but promises which do not guarantee love. He questions the establishment of marriage vows. Are people driven by a promise only to stay with each other and perhaps not always through what they feel inside the heart? Thus the person you are married to may not be the person that you love or love you back?

He seems to advocate that people being together should be of free will and when the love dissipates, then the relationship should end as well. Which is why he advocates “polygamy” in the sense that a person can have multiple partners in love (not at the same time, just throughout life) as long as there is happiness. 

Ah and the sappy view that “love makes the world go around” which I do agree with. Do cherish the person sleeping next to you and it takes many of the right variables to be in place for you to be together.

Anyone else want to dissect Wong Hei’s views on love and marriage or add in your own two cents? 🙂

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  1. Wong Hei has some unconventional view.

    The only think I can dissect is he’s not with Mr.Chan. 😛

    This reminds me also of Peter Lai’s easy-going stand on love and marriage. He said that when his wife want to leave, he let her go (送佢走) because no point keeping her in the marriage and forcing her to stay. He’s here to enjoy life.

    1. Maybe he and Mr. Chan do practice polygamy. Wong hei can be 1 of Stephen’s wives and yet can have his own wife too. As long as they’re happy, I guess “big love” can work.

      1. Don’t you think that’s a bit too much testosterone in one household?

      2. Josie, omg. Let’s hope it ends only as your speculation haha.

    1. Funn,
      That’s been obvious for a long time. Apparently, Ming Jai is his rumored partner.

    2. Suddenly I feel I’m surrounded by so many BL talk lately :P. Wong He and Stephen in real life, and in Lives of Omission a BL Photoshop and BL secret crush rumor.

  2. What is wrong with him? He has a sappy view of love and marriage. He must be very lonely and unhappy man.

    1. Mindy,
      “He has a sappy view of love and marriage. He must be very lonely and unhappy man.”

      I find Wong Hei to be happy and at peace with himself. He may possess unconventional views and be in a gay relationship, thus he decided not to get married. Many gay couples do not get married and live together, but they are long-term partners nevertheless.

      I read an interview about Felix Wong’s blind sifu from 1983’s “Legend of Condor Heroes” and he is gay as well. Sorry, he is known as Pao Gor, but his full name is escaping me now. Pao Gor said that in his next life, he would like to be reincarnated as a woman. In his era, it was difficult to come out in the open. However, he was mentor to Leslie Cheung and Danny Chan perhaps.

      Pao Gor said that men was very flirtatious in love and thus it was very difficult to have a life-long relationship with another man. He said he doesn’t visit clubs to meet “friends” now because he was looking for real love.

      1. I wonder if ‘We Are Family’ has ever invited him to their show.

      2. You are talking about Jiang Yi(sorry not sure about the Cantonese pin yin) Jayne. I did not know that he was gay but now that I think about it, it sort of felt like he was…I am not sure if Wong Hei is gay but it seems like he is bisexual like Leslie Cheung…

      3. HeTieShou,
        Yes Jiang Yi (Cantonese Kong Ngai). His name escaped me before. Earlier, I read Kong Ngai’s interview, which was quite sad because he sounded as if he had faced discrimination against his lifestyle and thus he had to keep his preferences secret.

        In the interview, her never said, “I’m gay,” but it was very obvious through his replies. He said that Hong Kong was a very traditional society at the time of his youth, thus he could not “come out.” In fact, societal pressures are still very high, especially for public figures, which is why they choose to not come out. Does that necessarily mean a life of hypocrisy?

        Kong Ngai is in his 80s right now. He said he loved playing the fadan in Chinese operas. He treated Leslie Cheung and Danny Chan as his godsons. And he would prefer to be a woman in his next lifetime. He said it is hard for men to be filial in relationships, which is why it is so hard to have forever with a man (seeming to lament that without marriage, partners may not commit in a relationship as seriously).

      4. Jayne,
        Yea, it is Kong Ngai Cantonese. Sorry but I forgot the Cantonese spelling since I am more used to Mandarin since I know it better. I feel bad for him to have to go through that but sadly, he grew up during such a traditional time period where being gay or lesbian was completely unacceptable. I still think that not just HK society but even a lot of asian societies are still very traditional and still don’t want to accept anyone that is gay or lesbian…

        Hey, maybe in the next life he will be a woman?My mom was telling me that there is a good possibility that if you are male in this life then you are going to be female in the next life and vice versa. THat is if you are a good person and will get reincarnated into a human again.

      5. Yes, too bad he was born in a conservative period. There is still misconception and discrimination now, but, a lot less liao. At least, RTHK (government station) allow the ‘We Are Family’ program which show it’s tolerant and accepting stand.

        He’s still luck he’s not born in Middle East countries.

  3. The guy have been overexposed lately..he need to let the public cool down a bit.

  4. Face today states that SC is doing everything to push Wong Hei to the TVB King race. Top 5 will be: Wong Hei, Michael, Wayne, Bosco and Kevin. Can we blv?

    1. but Wong Hei in what series that give audience a memorable role?

      1. Recent? Don’t know. In the past? Plenty. He is the spokesperson for firemen, albeit unofficial

      2. He was also in Some Day but highly unlikely that is worthy of a nomination.

      1. Wong Jing TVB? Then Mavis Pan is going to be TVB’s best actress :P.

      2. HAHA! I totally lol-ed @ your comment FOX!!
        Let’s add Viann Zhang in for the Best Actress race 😛 If it’s true TVB will be full of big boobs barbie dolls and the little nose job some current TVB actress d have is nothing compare to those LOL!

      3. I dunno Viann worked with Wong Jing or not but he likes PSS a lot. Maybe he hasn’t met Viann.

        BTW, Wong Jing has just dissed TVB’s TOB, then after that, he becomes TVBer? It must be funny.

      4. @ Fox

        ‘BTW, Wong Jing has just dissed TVB’s TOB, then after that, he becomes TVBer? It must be funny.”

        No contradiction. He dissed one particular TVB series. Doesn’t mean he thinks TVB is bad and all TVB series are crap. He hails from TVB after all.

        Anyway, TOB is crappy to me too. I stop watching in the middle and only watch the ending when it was shown on TV later.

      5. Then you should watch WJ’s Da Tang to kniw smt is craaper. Compare to recent tvb series TOB is better.

      6. @ Fox

        In what way is it crappier? I read a good feedback for the series in a wuxia forum.

        Nope, I don’t think TOB is better than recent TVB series. I can finish those recent TVB series watch, but, TOB, I can’t even finish it.

      7. It might follow the novel better so the wuxia fans like it but the cast is so failed. Except Athena Chau, the rest is so hopeless on acting, background and CGI techniques. And the Wong Jing teases =.=. I totally understand why ppl call it’s Two Farmers of Da Tang.

      8. @ Fox

        If that’s the case, I think I’ll like WJ’s Da Tang better since the weakest aspect of TOB is the script. It’s what makes me stop watching.

      9. Ok, up to you. If I wanna see the true adaption, I’d rather read the novel :P. I always prefer reading to watching. That’s why I dun like the Chinese adaptions of Jin Yong novels even when it follows the storyline more.

        BTW, WJ’s version also has some chances in the characters, such as Kau Chung and Tsui Tsi Lin are more of small scums than they are in the novel. I find the part when 2 guys tried to play the monk is annoying (this part dun have in the novel). I quit after few eps so dunno it’s better after that or not.

      10. @ Fox

        I’m not saying it’s crappy because it doesn’t not follow the novel. I didn’t read the novel. So, I have no reference. The plot is crappy by itself. I’m not judging it as an adaptation. I’m judging it as a standalone series.

        But, since novels are often time better than the adaptations, I assume the WJ’s version will be better if they follow novel better as you say.

      11. I wanna see an innovative adaptation, not one which screws everything up. However people adapt Romeo and Juliet, they both must die in the end. No one messes with Shakespeare, but they do play with it in timeline, dialogue, etc

      12. So you should watch to judge yourself, hehe.

        However, to talk of adaption, TOB is the best one among 4 TVB series adapted from Huang Yi’s novels: Hunter’s Prey, ASITP, TOB and LWOLAP. At least the most special of the novels: two guys with different characters like moon and sun.

      13. Do you mean Wong Jing the producer??? Oh no!! He will not make TVB better since he butchered many of JY’s classics already. He has the nerve to diss TVB’s TOB. Give me a break. I wonder if you guys have seen any of his works… They are a BIG joke!!

      14. “He has the nerve to diss TVB’s TOB. Give me a break. I wonder if you guys have seen any of his works… They are a BIG joke!!”

        I’ve seen a few. I admit they are not my cup of tea. But, my mom likes his Flying Fox series. I still have confidence in his Da Tang adaptation because his adaptations are often bashed and vilified by wuxia fans in the forum I frequented and I was surprised at the good feedback for this one.

        Haha, I still find no problem in him dissing TOB. That’s his opinion. He created some real TVB classic during his time with TVB such as ‘The Good, The Bad And The Ugly’ (網中人)

        “At least the most special of the novels: two guys with different characters like moon and sun.”

        One of my problem with the series is they split up the story of the 2 guys. Yes, they interact and there are some great brotherly moment. But, most of the time, Kau Chung has his own adventure (with the politic stuff) and Tsui Ji Ling has his own adventure (with the demon sect stuff). The series can be split into 2 and make into 2 independent series. Another problem I have with the script is it failed to show me how intelligent the supposedly intelligent characters are. The lamest is that woman who has the title ‘Lady Zhuge’. She’s totally incompetent, leading her sect to doom until there’s only her alone left and the best advice she can offer when was she became a war strategist is wait for rescue team (who might not even be coming).

        The only character that keep me watching is Chai Siu. I like his story with Lee Sau Ning. After he died, I quit the series.

        But, this is also the series that shows me Tavia can be very beautiful with the right make up.

      15. Wong Jing worked for TVB before??? I don’t remember… I only remember Wong Tian Lin the producer for LOCH and other classics, but don’t remember Wong Jing…

      16. Wasn’t Wong Jing’s father a renowned scriptwriter for TVB? He followed his father’s footstep. Despite all those silly movies he made later, Wong Jing is actually a very learned man. You should see his handwriting. I was very impressed, also the way he could write poetic proses one time during a game show. My perception of him being seedy changed. He is still seedy but learned seedy.

      17. @ HTS

        Wong Jing work as a scriptwriter. He was very young at that time.

      18. Wong Jing’s latest film “Treasure Inn” wasn’t that bad. It’s quite enjoyable.

      19. @Kidd,
        Thanks for the info! I only remember Wong Tian Lin, but not Wong Jing… Old age is getting to my memory..

      20. @Kidd,

        When you said you liked watching Chai Siu and he’s the only person keeping you watching the series, were you referring to the one in TOB or the new one, Wong Jing’s? I didn’t read the novels and have only seen TVB’s version of TOB and I recall that Chai Siu was a rather annoying and useless character. Was he different in the novel and in Wong Jing’s version?

      21. @ Chriselle

        TOB’s Chai Siu. I have a tendency to like secondary characters.

      22. @Kidd: In my opinion, this new Chai Siu looks like Jacky Wu more :D.

    1. Pineapple,
      “Maybe Wong Hei is bisexual.”

      Maybe everyone is capable of being bisexual should we meet the right person. There’s a long road ahead in life and who’s to guarantee that our preferences will not change down the road? Middle-aged women, such as Susanna Kwan and Joey Yung’s mother, after going through divorce, have changed their minds about their preferences in life.

    2. I was thinking the same since he mentioned that he has had girlfriends in the past.

  5. My woman intuition tells me that Wong Hei is not straight and he likes men 🙂 *cough SC cough*

  6. Wong Hei’s view on love deviates from the traditional view, but that doesn’t mean this view is anomalous, just not usual. He seem to be a straightforward person, who dares to speak his mind, which is very rare in the entertainment industry, especially when Asian people are socially more reserved.

    Anyways, Wong Hei is too much in the news lately. Didn’t he say a year ago (or so) that he would quit acting, and become a Fengshui master? I think it was during the time that Stephen’s case was going on heavily, and Wong Hei had no hopes in his career anymore. But now, because of Stephen’s return, he seem to have all confidence again and is overpromoting himself.

    Off topic message for Jayne:

    Maybe you should link up your Jaynestars blog to Twitter (using Twitterfeed or whatever tool), so that every post in WordPress would automatically be posted in Twitter too. It’d be much more convenient for Twitter users to see your latest post show up in their timeline!

    1. Lizzy,
      “Maybe you should link up your Jaynestars blog to Twitter (using Twitterfeed or whatever tool), so that every post in WordPress would automatically be posted in Twitter too. It’d be much more convenient for Twitter users to see your latest post show up in their timeline!”

      Thanks for the suggestion! We’ll definitely look into it. LOL, just a lot of things going on right now and our technologist is swamped. 🙂

  7. I tot Wong Hei used to be rumored with Fu Ming Hin last time? Maybe there after his sexual preference changed?

    1. ABC,
      As Wong Hei so aptly put it, there are so many choices out there these days, for men to be with men, men to be with women, and women with women. As long as he is happy, fans should be happy for him.

      This article is not meant to incite any negativity towards Wong Hei’s choice in life.

  8. Wong Hei won’t exit if his parents are gay. His views on traditional values are totally off. Clearly he’s a lost person, all of his views are backward. The way he sees Love-marriage indicated that he’s bisexual. Hope he doesn’t get AIDS! There’s a reason why in centries, generations after generations people get marry and have kids, it happens naturally. I think true happiness comes from a man and a woman who are truely in love, marriage comes after then children. When you’ve done that, your life is complete and that is something to be proud of. I personally think it’s very fulfilling and powerful knowing you’ve created a child and brought them into this world. On the other hand where as a gay couple who needs to rely on technology to have kids aren’t pure happiness because you know for a fact that it wasn’t naturally done. So when something isn’t done naturally it makes me feel like a phoney to pretend is natural. If you have to be gay go ahead it’s your decision but don’t try to convince the world that it’s normal and make a BIG DEAL out of it for attention. I feel bad for the young children who are mislead by this topic. When in fact it’s just another disorder like mental disorder or eating disorder.

    1. “Hope he doesn’t get AIDS!”

      I think more people got AIDS by needles than gay sex. But I have no statistics to prove that.

      “When in fact it’s just another disorder like mental disorder or eating disorder.”

      I am not anti nor pro gay, I am pro choice. And your statement is an indication that ignorance is a disorder without any cure if the person does not take initiative to open their prejudiced eyes and look. He has his views; it is his opinion. He is not saying “Kids, let’s all be gay, yeah!” but he is saying himself. He is opionionated, he is brash, even crude but he is nonetheless harmless. There is no “cure” for gayness. It is a choice, a lifestyle choice in my opinion, and more gay couples are faithful to one another than heterosexual couples. But then I don’t have the statistics since in most places they’re not allowed to marry, so technically gay unions are not in the statistics.

      My only problem with WH is if he is gay, admit it. After all his career is already ruined by all the things he has said, no harm done to give recognition to the “man” beside him.

      1. agree most of it, however its his CHOICE to disclose his sexual preference so why should you care.

      2. sure for you it might not be a big issue however for him and many others it might be.

        in addition he might be thinking about his parents. don’t know if they know anything though.

      3. He is not saying “Kids, let’s all be gay, yeah!”

        FUNN Of course I meant the gay community here in America and WH is no different if China is more free/accepting to Gays, then he’ll sure fight for their position.

        When ones has mental or eating disorder you can be treated with meds or with you Dr’s help but if the patient doesn’t want to be treated, ya can’t force them. It’s up to that person if they think they need help. When your gay it’s an inside disorder. It can be cure if you wish to by getting help. I’ve always seen old couples at their 80-90s holding hands and care for one another, never seen an old gay couple at their late ages and still together. I think gay couples are more likely to separete because there’s no true fulfillment in its relationship there’s nothing natural about it.

      4. I agree with Funn that if he is gay then he should just admit it. If he is already so straightforward about everything else, then why lie about that or hide it?? But I personally think that he is bisexual and not gay.

      5. “When ones has mental or eating disorder you can be treated with meds”

        Any cure yet for homosexuality? So far, I have heard of meds for bipolar disorder, General Anxiety disorder and depression, but, I’ve yet to hear about drugs that cure homosexuality.

        “I’ve always seen old couples at their 80-90s holding hands and care for one another, never seen an old gay couple at their late ages and still together.

        I’ve read about an old man who was denied the house him and his partner build (under his partner’s name) because they are not legally married. This old man has spend decades with his partner and be with him until his last days.

      6. @ HTS

        “I agree with Funn that if he is gay then he should just admit it. If he is already so straightforward about everything else, then why lie about that or hide it??”

        Because there are still a lot of people like rei around.

      7. Oh yea,that’s true and it is sad that people like Rei are around and still look down on homo or bisexuality as an illness…

      8. I can understand why Wong Hei doesn’t want to admit what kind of sexual orientation he is. He isn’t a normal hk citizen, he’s a celebrity. If he admitted to being gay, his life will be living hell w/ all the media attention.

        Saying that he is gay to the media would bring a lot of unwanted attention to his family members and friends. If he was eating out w/ a male friend, the hk media will say that it was a date and hound his male friend.


        Also, for most people, being gay is not a choice. I have several friends who are lesbian… and let me tell you, being lesbian in an Asian traditional family is not easy. She has been discriminated against and lost friends b/c of this. Her sexual orientation makes it very difficult to be herself around family members. If it were a choice, she would take the easy route and be straight. You can’t help who you are attracted to.

        To disagree w/ gay marriage b/c of religion is one thing… but because you think it is a mental disorder.. is just wrong.

    2. Gay isn’t an illness or disorder.

      If you use marriage and children as method to happiness, then why many couples with children still divorce and tortured the life of their children after that? And how do you view the married couple but unable to have children naturally? And how about the asexual?

      People was born with wat, it’s their natural. Force someone to go against her/his natural is unnatural.

      If WH go out and say: “Children, be gay! Don’t love woman, just love men!”, it’s different. Above are his view. You might disagree with him, but can’t tell him to do something different to his natural. Funn is right, it’s his own choice.

      1. GTG can’t sit here all day to discuss this. My opinion towards this topic is clear…if you disgree I’ll accept ppl have different views, I have many that agrees and have their own views.

    3. Rei,
      In your comment, you mentioned that being gay is not natural, that it is a disorder because from an evolutionary point of view, why would species mate if not to produce children? Gay animals exist in the animal kingdom and have existed since the start of life. It is not a topic that is well understood because of societal barriers and scientific funding not driven towards this topic.

      Gay Animals: An Alternate Lifestyle in the Wild

      Is mating, whether humans or animals, driven primarily to procreate? Aside from primal urges, humans also choose their mates based on love. Is there a need for us to exercise moral judgement against one’s personal lifestyle and who they choose to love? Immediate family members may have more difficulty coming to terms with such preferences, but if their choices equate to the their personal happiness and being true to themselves, rather than live a life to others’ expectations.

      Society has set up guidelines in an attempt to bring “order” to the the world and thus traditions are passed on. The traditonal views on marriage, to marry the opposite sex and start a family, also promotes a societal order in communitites. While creating life is indeed miraculous, the continuation of life is also made possible through adoption methods. Many gay couples are starting to adopt children, who otherwise may never experience a parent’s love, and thus they provide circumstances under which life to can thrive.

      Alternative choices and lifestyles may threaten our traditions and what we were taught all our lives, which is why it spikes hatred and even fear that our “natural” world or sense of order were disrupted. Real wisdom gives us peace and order, not simply a set of passed on traditions. However, life is an evolving process and ultimately, people should be free in seeking their personal happiness without guilt or hatred from others.

    4. Poor infertile heterosexual couple. You guys are doomed! Doomed! You will never be complete. Even if you use IVF you are still DOOM because it’s unnatural and phoney.

      Talking about it doesn’t mean he’s trying to convince the world. He’s just giving his own opinion about the matter. Gosh. When gay people talk about their view, they are labeled as trying to convince the world. So, what about those people talking about happy marriage, happy children, happy heterosexual love?

    5. True happiness and fulfillment come from being allowed to be who one is and not living a lie.

  9. BTW I thought WH was handsome and good with his acting skills but now…booo

    1. Don’t tell me that you now think that way because he may be gay or bisexual?? Sorry, but I don’t think you should think that way and I also don’t agree with your views. However, each to their own…

  10. wong jin, from the past when he was with tvb, i write a lot of good drama…

  11. I still think Wong Hei secretly love with someone, but never can be together.

  12. The thing is, he being so open about everything else, so by keeping quiet abt being gay or bi-sexual seems odd in comparsion. If not one can understand why he still needs to stay in the closet, it’s HKG not US. He’ll get roasted alive if he disclose! WE still a conservative society with regards to this issue.

  13. Kinda late to join in the discussion but I want to say that I think it’s okay for him not to be open about his sexual orientation. After all, coming out = putting a label on yourself. He did say, “Men can pair with women, men can pair with men, and women pair with women.” Never once did he label the relationship as straight, gay, lesbian. We’re all people and we’ll find someone we love (or at least hope to find one). It’s inevitable that people will think you’re different from them because you’re gay or lesbian even though you’re not. So the best way is not to label yourself. For example, if girl ‘A’ comes out as lesbian, A’s friends will think that ‘A’ likes them or something. But hello :p lesbians don’t just like EVERY girl on the planet. Girl ‘A’ is just simply a human being who happens to love another soul with the same sex.

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