Alice Chan Reveals How Her Marriage Broke Down
Alice Chan (陳煒), popularly known as ‘’Wai Gor’’ (Big Brother Wai) for her masculine personality, has portrayed many influential and powerful characters onscreen. However, in real life the 44-year-old actress is far from being invulnerable, hiding news of her divorce from the public and even her own family members.
In a recent interview, Alice revealed how she was attracted to her ex-husband, businessman James Yen (顏志行). When she first met him in 2006, Alice was 33 years old. Recalling their romance, she shared that her ex-husband and her were madly in love at the start of the relationship, spending a lot of time together. Unfortunately, the passion would quickly take a dive after just three and a half months, though they eventually got married two years later in 2008.
How Her Marriage Broke Down
Although their lifestyles did not take a drastic change and James continued focusing on his career after marriage, Alice soon found married life to be mundane, but learned to accept her new role. “Other than work, he spent all his time at home, enjoyed my cooking, and wasn’t unfaithful to me. What more could I ask for…?”
Thinking back now, she realized that the crux of the matter was a failure to communicate and to grow as individuals while being together, which caused their rift. The couple had less and less common topics and few deep interactions, besides talking about daily nuts and bolts of living.
“I was older than him by three years, thus I took a broader and deeper view of matters and was keen to share my experiences with him when it came to work. But as a traditional Chinese man, he was not (always) willing to take my advice. So I began speaking my mind less and less.… In the end, it was silence that filled the space between both of us,” Alice said.
Comparing herself to a piece of “human furniture”, she knew it was quite the tragedy to feel like she did, but willed herself to think that it was “only natural” for “romance to fade into companionship, then simply kinship”.
Husband Wanted Divorce
Perhaps not unexpectedly, it was her ex-husband who suggested that they end their loveless marriage. “He was a gentleman and analyzed to me what he felt was wrong in our relationship: because I had given up my career, I lost my goals in life. It might benefit us both to separate,” With the understanding that this was it, Alice proceeded with the paperwork proceedings for divorce, which was straightforward for James, a Taiwanese citizen, since local laws only required for her name to be removed from his identity card.
Why Alice Decided to Hide Her Divorce
Still reeling from the hurt of the divorce, Alice did not share about her divorce other than to a few of her closest friends. “I didn’t dare reveal the truth for the next [five] years because I dreaded how people might react. Even if the response was sympathetic or out of kindness. I was also worried that people might start saying I had to go back to work because I was single again.”
Ironically, during the first year of divorce, Alice found herself going back to Taiwan to look for her ex-husband. “I can’t describe why I did that. I guess it was like catching up with an old friend, or simply craving the companionship…or wanting things to go back to how they were? I wasn’t sure myself…and he didn’t have someone else either,” she shared her confused feelings post-divorce. After their divorce, she found that two of them could talk more freely as friends.
It was only later when James was photographed with a young singer on a vacation trip that Alice was forced to confront the public on her marital status. Alice said that James and the singer were just friends and not dating. She also told the outside world that resuming singlehood reflected her decision to “let herself go” and “stop being stubborn”.
After divorce, Alice and James sought self-improvement. While James chose to participate in Budhhist observances, Alice attended emotional therapy class in Taiwan. “While it wasn’t a 180-degree change, it did help me learn to relax better and I became happier as a result,” she said.
Source: Ming Pao Weekly
This article is written by JoyceK for JayneStars.com.