Elaine Ng Receives Daughter’s Apology Letter
Currently being investigated by the police for abusing her 15-year-old daughter Etta Ng (吳卓林), Elaine Ng (吳綺莉) has not seen Etta for five days.
Elaine’s alcoholism and her subsequent physical skirmishes with Etta led school staff to call the police. Elaine was arrested by the police on March 11 and released on bail. Due to the ongoing investigation and concern over Etta’s well-being, she is temporarily removed from Elaine’s care.
Worried and restless due to lack of contact with her daughter, Elaine apologized to Etta openly for her parenting mistakes but denied child abuse. The single mother promised to drink less alcohol, “Mommy will take care of her own health.”
After hospitalized for injury examination, Etta will be staying with her godmother for the time being.
Speaking with the media yesterday, Elaine revealed Etta has written a letter to her. “She said sorry and that she just wants me to be happy. I understand that she has accumulated a lot of stress.”
In regards to allegations that Elaine had made harsh comments to Etta, causing her to feel unhappy, Elaine responded, “She did something bad that time and I was really tired after work…. I usually don’t talk to her like that, nor would I ever hit her on the face, because that’s disrespectful.”
Etta reportedly also has very few friends and often pretends to be happy and positive at home, hoping to avoid adding to her mother’s burdens. However, suicidal thoughts have crossed Etta’s mind. Elaine was bewildered to find out about her daughter’s true feelings after the recent turn of events.
Asked if she feels any guilt towards her daughter, Elaine said, “I made a mistake. I told her, ‘No matter what happens, until the day I am no longer around, you don’t need to worry. I have already planned everything for you.’ Maybe that scared her and made her feel insecure.”
Elaine further stressed that the situation is not as serious as reported in the media and she has no plans to stop working.
Did Not Receive Millions from Jackie Chan
Elaine conceived Etta after having an affair with Jackie Chan (成龍) in 1999. Tabloids claimed that Jackie had given Elaine $30 million HKD in “breakup fees”, stipulating the requirement for Elaine and Etta to move to Shanghai and far away from Jackie’s wife Joan Lin (林鳳嬌).
“Since I was a child, I never liked to explain myself. I was not the only person who made mistakes. I’m not perfect, so I can’t comment on others,” said Elaine.
When asked if she was the only person who took care of Etta in the past 15 years, Elaine said, “If I didn’t take care of her, who else would do so?” Elaine added that while she also yearns to find a significant other, she has not dated due to work and time needed to take care of her daughter.
This article is written by Huynh for JayneStars.com.
This is devastating. The bond between the mother and the daughter is very strong despite what Elaine has done to herself. She might be loving to Etta, but when she’s intoxicated, she is not herself anymore and perhaps Etta had enough and decided to share it with her teacher at school.
Hope all ends well with them and hope this news will open up the “Father”‘s conscience and reunite with the daughter or at least own up his own mess the made years ago. If I’m Elaine I will prove that Etta is his and demand millions from him at least both mother and daughter’s lives will improve and she won’t have to work so hard to support themselves anymore.
well said.
i hope this will get to Jackie and he should take on the responsibility as the father. Regardless of what happened in the past, he still should fix this mess.
I wonder how he can fix? Marry the mother? He can’t. Show affection to a daughter he doesn’t want? He couldn’t and wouldn’t. Support them? No matter how much she denied I do not believe an angry woman will walk away quietly if without a single penny given unless he threatened her and I hope not. Jackie is beyond reach and he is not the saviour. Elaine whether she likes it or not has taken responsibility to this daughter. The daughter’s anguish perhaps is knowing a father who is famous but doesn’t want to know her but I bet the bigger part is Elaine who probably has a lot of issues. Did she abuse her daughter? Abuse is a strong word to use and abuse means consistently, emotionally or physically. She has perhaps vented her anger at her daughter and being drunk is a big part as well. The daughter’s anguish is because of her mother. Her daughter is big enough to know her father is non existent and if she doesn’t then perhaps someone should knock her head and tell her to grow up. Her mother is at a difficult stage, both should support one another.
I still think the teacher did right. All these emotional outpouring stems from the fact that Elaine is telling her side of the story. The apologies, the letter her daughter wrote, etc BUT never heard from the daughter’s side. Is this a PR exercise for Elaine to ensure she doesn’t get prosecuted and to save her image? Has the daughter made a statement?
All stories have both sides. What is important now is not to expect Jackie to swoop in and suddenly become the loving father. He can’t even show enough concern for his own raised son, more so the illegitimate child. What is more important is for Elaine to stop making press statement, check herself into rehab, kick the habit, fix her relationship with her child and move on.
As for child support, not sure about HK. A man is not obliged to maintain a woman who is not his wife. If there is a law for him to maintain his illegitimate child aka his dependant, then yes. If no, in law he doesn;t need to, but morally he should but does Jackie care about morality? Like I said I think he paid her. Spent it all probably hence the alcoholism and anger.
That is why it is very important to marry because of legitimacy. If there is no difference, then let’s do away with marital law. There must always be a difference. Likewise, an illegitimate child can’t inherit from the father. Perhaps that is also the law in HK. Think before giving birth to an illegitimate child; not just the stigma to me stigma is nothing. It is the legal repurcussions. Elaine was no angel herself. She was old enough to know what she was doing. Perhaps it isn’t fair she had to raise her child alone but life isn’t always about fairness but it is certainly about doing the best one can in any circumstances. And in Elaine’s case, what is she planning to do apart from giving all these statements? What she is really planning to do to fix her life long term instead of a quick fix? If she doesn’t have any such plans, do not pity her. You can’t blame Jackie for her own screwed up life. Pity the daughter but the daughter is big enough to know when you’re an adult, and she soon will be, you are in charge of your own life.
P/S Why is Elaine not suing Jackie? Why is she not making any statement against him? Write a book, Etc etc? Obvious to me.
Jayne my comment awaiting moderation. I am becomin confused since I don’t think I used any banned or bad words.
@funn – lol you really can write and you are thinking too much as to asking about marrying the mother.
to keep it short. it doesn’t matter who’s fault. the problem is if this is his daughter. he should do anything to support or understand her. is not about the daughter being old to know things. Regardless of how old a person is… psychologically and stress is just hard to control. Easy said than done.
@ Funn:
For starters, he can “fix” himself, to make sure he sires no more children intentionally or accidentally.
While yes she should take ownership over her own drinking issues, I doubt life was ever easy for the two (or three – I believe she has an eldery mom who took care of Etta at one time) of them.
Esp since the entire world knows what happened.
15 yr old girls are volatile hyper sensitive creature – very self conscious.
15 yrs ;ater, and nothing has died down.
Jaycee gets arrested for drugs, and people think of his illegitimate daughter.
With all that baggage, parenting Etta possible was a roller coaster ride on top of dealing with the practical hardships of etching a living in the entertainment world where everyone knows everyone.
“prove that Etta is his and demand millions from him at least both mother and daughter’s lives will improve and she won’t have to work so hard to support themselves anymore.”
Totally agree!!
Demand child support (even in back payment) from Jackie Chan. Heck, if Jaycee has a relationship with Etta, that means Jackie Chan is acknowledging Etta as his daughter. Sneaky dog.
Money has the power to solve a lot of problems but it doesn’t solve everything. In this situation I think Elaine did the right thing. She can stand tall, look at her daughter and tell her she’s not looking for a handout from Jackie Chan. Elaine can tell everyone she’s not a gold digger and she will be responsible for her own actions. Isn’t that much more valuable for Etta?
Puni, before you speak please your facts right. It’s not about being a gold digger. If it’s proven that Etta is Jackie, it means he’s responsible for her. He should support her regardless whether he would supper her mother or not.
Given that Elaine and he are not married, he shouldn’t pay her anything, but if DNA proves that Etta is his daugther he has to support her no matter what. And no only financially, but emotionally as well!
@ Patrick – you’re talking what is legal financial responsibility – ie child maintenance.
I am in agreement with Puni on that money cannot buy anything.
There was somewhere that I mentioned people generally may not say no to money, but it also depends on circumstances:
in this case, there is – a NO to “Who doesn’t want money?”
2 reasons:
尊严 (as they say in Mandarin)/Dignity
骨气 (as they say in Cantonese)/Backbone
Elaine did not do right by having that affair with a married man that resulted in Etta … but she did right at least in MAN-ning (pun fully intended) up to her responsibilities.
Life altering decision to raise this child alone.
Also, a role model of independence and strength to the child not to bow down to rejection.
I hope Elaine keeps staying strong, as she has been, valiantly plodding along so far to raise her child … even as she is a closet alcoholic dealing with life’s challenges and pressures.
“Puni, before you speak please your facts right.”
I was going to advise you to do the same. Then I realized you can’t even put together a simple sentence?. Here, “Puni, before you speak please GET your facts right.”
I’ll just say this, whenever a woman gets knocked up by a rich dude society will consider her to be a gold digger. No matter what she does she will be forever tainted as the gold digging woman who’s basically looking for a handout.
It’s also very funny how you think Jackie will be emotionally responsible for Etta. That guy has denied Etta to be his child for years. Nowadays Jackie just avoids talking about her in public as if she doesn’t exist. Do you think someone like that would be emotionally responsible for Etta? Hilarious. Do you even read news about how Jackie treats Jaycee?
Well, Puni dude…u sounded like a pathetic old Asian soul who is constantly updated with HK gossips. You are half right that I’m not that updated with the Asian entertainment news myself.
Being emotionally involve with a person can also be triggered through what we called conscience. Eventhough Jackie didn’t admit and denied that she’s his child but that doesn’t mean he won’t choose to reunite with her in the future.
And there’s sometimes mistakes known as typo…duh! And no thanks to your so called grammatical corrections on my behalf!
Patrick, you are so cute. You don’t have any facts up your sleeves but you go on lecturing me about getting my facts straight? Funny people around here.
Jackie growing a conscience? In the future? Who knows, there’s always a possibility in everything. The odds look promising huh?
No need DNA test just look at her face is enough.
Well…everyone has their own opinions on whether how should the problem be resolved. But ultimately whatever we said or proposed is just based on our own assumptions and what we know from the news we read about them.
Personal attack here is unnecessary as we should just stick to the newsfeed and not about attacking what others think. We can voice out what we think but don’t belittle others’ opinions about this matter. Just focus on the topic and no point taking things personally which I think I funny on how some people can be so angry on what others had said.
i need to preface this by saying i don’t advocate violent abuse, but i may not be agreeing with everyone on how elaine did wrong in this matter.
maybe it’s cause i’m from an older generation/era, so getting hit to me is like no big deal. even successful grown up adults like sammy shum said that he looked up the word “abuse” with the childhood abuse association (something like that) and they say even hitting a kid’s hand is abuse. he joked he should sue his mom. i rofl ’cause it’s true. “abuse” and “discipline” are two different things back then. nowadays kids should be thanking god parents no longer use whips and belts (although some old school ones still do.) my mom used hangers lol.
but even when the kids did get spanking or whatever, they bear with it because they know they did something wrong OR they know the parent had good intentions.
so i may be in the minority here when i say that elaine’s daughter sounds REALLY spoiled. i would never, in a hundred years, do such a thing because i understand the repercussions, even as a child. i don’t feel entitled enough to do it. but from what i’ve gleaned, many times SINGLE or WHITE kids would. why do you think that is? personally i see it as because they’re spoiled and think they’re entitled to be treated a certain way no matter what. my point being, you earn respect, kid. you don’t gain it by automatically living. her daughter may be right to be concerned about her mom’s possible alcoholism? but she should request counselors to see her mom for that, not complain about how her mom was violent towards her.
> so i may be in the minority here …
Nope, I hear you. Especially living in the West. Some of these ME generation folk (and the “I am all that” attitude) could have done with some discipline in their lives.
Yup they’d call it abuse. I was chased around with a cane … not actually except a couple of times, but enough to know I had to toe the line.
At least the child has learnt to respect rules, people (like teachers) and what is etiquette and manners.
And yes not go screaming abuse (it actually shrieks “woe is me” attitude. Another reason why you see so much depression in the West over every slightest thing that would be shrugged off in Asia. And it’s actually healthier, rather than constantly dramatizing and talking about it).
Abuse = when what she may mean is her mom is an alcoholic, and needs help for alcoholism.
Etta grew up under the shadlow of abandonment. There’s no hiding from that.
Giving Etta a healthy sense of self-worth is much better than taking her away from her source of support and responsibility so far – her mom.
Etta may have bigger problem psychologically. Jacky literally had made both Etta and elaine’s life miserable. How would u feel if the whole world know u are abandoned by ur very rich and famous dad since birth???!!!
And which guy would dare to be etta’s stepfather, knowing who the real father is???
Very good points!
You can blame Jackie all you want and I totally agree his an A$$. But I don’t feel like it’s his responsibility in this situation. Elaine decide have an affair with him knowing he have wife and son. She decide to have his child and let the whole world know that he is the father. When he stated that he don’t want this child and will not claim any responsibility for this child. And only she know if the pregnancy is an accident or entrapment. I believe Jackie did pay her handsomely to stay out of his life.
If she really doesn’t want anything from him and only want what’s the best for Etta then she should’ve just quietly give birth to Etta. Take her out of the spotlight and give her a normal life. When Etta is old enough then Elaine can explain to her who her dad is and let her decide if she wants to Jackie or not.
You can totally disagree with me but I find Elaine’s actions to be quite selfish.
Yup, “MY Way”. Like mother like daughter. Jackie Chan is Jackie Chan. 🙂
Can anyone tell me what job does Elaine do? She is not regularly seen in any films not drama series. Yet she can own car and send Etta to international school that costs a lot. How? I am very curious.
This news came out not long after Jackie announced that he will leave everything he has to his only son Jaycee (contrary to what he previously said).
I do wonder if this is what triggers off this family drama. This will get attention of the media and the bad publicity to Jackie may mean he has to fork out certain amount out of guilt. If this is true he really deserves to be milked.
http://matadornetwork.com/notebook/hong-kong-childhood/
All of you are missing the point that you can’t force a relationship between a teenage child and an absentee parent. No one knows for certain whether child support is being provided for or not. Unfortunately, children are born every day around the world with an absentee parent. Etta is old enough to understand that…. get over it. Live your life as best you can, strive to achieve your own goals on your own terms. You are not at fault nor are you to blame for your life’s circumstance, but don’t hold on to it like some kind of weight that can’t be lifted. As far as Jackie Chan’s wealth is concern, no one knows how the exact distribution of funds will be until he passes, so stop bashing and condemning him on what the media has posted about his Will.