Kristal Tin: “I Once Hated Myself”
When TV Queen Kristal Tin (田蕊妮) stepped into her 40s, she went on a hiatus from acting dramas so she could be herself instead of playing someone else. During this time, she dabbled in other projects, hosting TVB’s reality TV dating show, Pretty Forty <女人四十>, and working on a new album, Saturnian, in which she shares her new perspectives and experiences. Beginning a new chapter in her life in a refreshing way, the 41-year-old vows to unapologetically present her true self going forward, whether you like it or not.
“In the past, I would think about how I should act towards you to make you like me but now I won’t do that,” the artist said. “It doesn’t matter if you like me or not because I like myself.”
However, this was not always the case. There was a period of time in which she hated herself when she was co-hosting the radio show Wa! Wa! Wa! <她他她打到嚟!> with Sandra Ng (吳君如) and Matt Chow (鄒凱光). “I was 29 or 30 years old, and at the time I thought I had a lot of experiences, I thought I was very mature, and I thought I was very smart and knew everything,” she shared. “But I realized I didn’t know a lot of things and didn’t know how to handle it. I couldn’t make people laugh when I spoke so I really admired Sandra because she was so smart.”
Every morning, Kristal would wake up feeling anxious and scour the newspapers looking for topics to discuss on the radio program. However, she would just madly flip through them without digesting the information, and when she went outside, she desperately wished for something to happen to her so she could have a story to talk about. “That one year of living allowed me to improve very quickly because there was a huge amount of pressure every day,” Kristal said.
She added, “When you’re young, you would keep trying to find your purpose, and during the process, you’ll find things you like about yourself and find things you hate. When you reach 40, you won’t think it matters as long as you learned how to admire and like yourself – this is very important.”
The star also reached a stage where she’s content with not being a mother. Although she’s thought about freezing her eggs, she didn’t go through with it because she asked herself if she really wanted to be a mom that badly. “I realized I was just afraid of the idea that if you don’t give birth by 40, you won’t be able to,” Kristal expressed. “I think I quite like my lifestyle right now, it’s quite happy. If I have a child, I’ll be OK, but if I don’t, I’m also OK.”
In addition, her husband Chapman To (杜汶澤) is afraid to be a dad because he’s had a traumatic childhood in which his dad strangled his mouse and beat him. “When he sees my dad, he would think my dad is really strange because my dad is so nice, so now he thinks of my dad as his dad,” Kristal said.
Despite this, their friends and family believe Chapman would make a terrific dad because kids love to play with him and respect him.
This article is written by MelodyC for JayneStars.com.