[Obituary] Actress Miki Shum Commits Suicide
Actress Miki Shum (沈麗君) committed suicide earlier this month, leaving behind a heart-breaking suicide note claiming her husband’s infidelity and how it drove her to insanity.
Growing up in Shanghai, Miki started her career as a young model. She is best known for her work in All’s Well, Ends Well 2009 <家有囍事2009> alongside Louis Koo (古天樂). After getting married, Miki became a full-fledged housewife to take care of her two children.
Although there has been little news about Miki after she left the industry, sudden news of her death circulated on September 10. Not long after the media caught wind of this news, her manager confirmed that Miki jumped off the roof of a building and left behind a long suicide note expressing her sorrow and battle with depression.
Suicide Note
In the note, Miki wrote, “This was a road I initially chose, but now, I have nowhere to go.”
Their eight-year marriage has been loveless for years, as her husband had a long-term affair with a mistress. Miki had spent her last seven birthdays alone. Speculating that her husband was already cheating when she was pregnant with her first child, Miki initially confronted him about the cigarette lighters from various nightclubs she found in the family car. Brushing her off, Miki’s husband said he went to the clubs for networking reasons.
Miki also wrote that while her husband had expensive designer brand shoes that cost thousands of dollars, he only bought cheap $50 RMB shoes for the children. Angry that her husband has been spending all his money on his mistress, including buying her designer bags, iPhones, as well as an Audi A4 car. Besides spending his own money on another woman, Miki’s husband was also a big gambler and would often come to her for money after a loss.
Miki aired her problems to her mother-in-law, but was told to keep quiet and that women should learn how to be more tolerant.
Aside from her husband’s infidelity, Miki was also battling cervical cancer and depression.
Upon hearing the shocking news of her death and health problems, Raymond Wong (黃百鳴), who produced Alls Well, Ends Well 2009, expressed his grief and sorrow, stating that Miki has always been a very good and quiet girl.
Source: On.cc
This article is written by Su for JayneStars.com.
husband’s a scumbag
Poor girl. Wealth for the sake of mental happiness isn’t worth it. Especially with such a stingy man who isn’t even willing to part with his money. Should’ve divorced him instead & take half.
The mother in laws advice was a big steaming pile of crap. You do not say that to a woman in this day and age to excuse the scummy behaviour of your son. She has a big part to play in this.
@megamiaow ‘Miki aired her problems to her mother-in-law, but was told to keep quiet and that women should learn how to be more tolerant.’ this kind of a damn mother in law should have a daughter who gets ill treated.
what kind of era is this? if it has been 7 years of such a relationship, why did she hold on to him? now that she committed suicide, her 2 young children will suffer.
If it has been loveless so long, should have just left him. Now the children are left to this scumbag who will remarry. And she is dead. Should have gotten herself a good lawyer, take custody, money and fortune and live a better life. Suicide serves no benefit other than to benefit him. He will be just fine. What a travesty.
@funnlim Exactly. No one deserved to be treated this way in a marriage and her illness probably add to her depression and physical pain. However, taking her own life does not resolve and most importantly, leaving behind 2 young children with an obviously irresponsible father who is likely continue to ignore them (which may be the better option then let the children stay with his mistress and him). Meanwhile, he will continue to live happily with his mistress and the mistress may get what she wants by marrying him.
I am saddened by her tragic death and my heart goes out to Miki’s two young children, I worry for them. It makes me angry that Miki gave up her career to be a full time wife and mother to her husband’s children, and the pile of crap repaid her by cheating on her. It is so appalling that he treated his children to cheap goods but himself and his mistress got the best. That was so wrong and disrespectful to Miki and the children on so many levels. I cant believe he used to ask Miki for money after gambling his money away. To think the poor woman was going through this humiliation and heartache while battling cervical cancer. What the mother in law said is just disgusting, and proves that chinese women need to wake up. So it is okay for the man to cheat once he looks after the home, providing for the wife and children? The wife should be tolerant of his cheating? That was such a cruel thing for that hag of a mother-in-law to say. To defend her son’s cheating is so wrong on so many levels. Yes, he is her son, but this time he is wrong she knew it and chose to still take his side. Well this particular scumbag hardly looked after the children and sponged off the wife. This man has no shame or conscience, and I am scared for those two children being in his care , and the care of their cold, rigid backward grandmother, his mom. They both have blood on their hands.
This may only be the tip of an iceberg. There may be many more suicides we may not be aware of.
Whether a woman is able to walk away from a scumbag husband depends on so many other variables. Her confidence, her personality, supportive environment etc. Unfortunately, maybe in China it is still acceptable for a man to stray particularly a rich man.
If there are supportive systems like counselling in place, maybe there might be less depression suicides. But then I noticed that seeing a psychologist may be frowned upon in Asia. If the society has little empathy for depressions, it is likely for the person to be left to her/his own. Sad.
That is the thing about Asia on a whole. Asian society is cold, uncaring and lacks simple sympathetic and empathetic skills. The society is still steeped in the belief that men can cheat, but not the women, and the women should accept it and not say anything, especially if the husband is rich and providing the necessities in life for the wife and any children. We all know that seeking psychological help is frowned upon in these parts, no wonder we have so many mental fans and netizens. I roll my eyes at the things they have to say. There are so many suicides but it is never talked about. Even in the West, there were chinese who I know hurt or killed themselves because they were depressed over some idol getting married or involved in a relationship. A buddy in the Philippines told me that over twenty women ranging in ages 19 to 37 killed or hurt themselves several years ago when a certain actress did not marry the man they shipped her with for years. The older generation don’t believe in counseling, and they dissuade the youner people from seeking help through therapy. Then again, I read a psychiatrist in China said there is nothing wrong with fantasizing about being with your idol. Poor Miki probably had no one to turn to. She maybe even lost so called friends when she told them she had cancer. These people don’t know how to, and-or don’t want to deal with sensitive situations. Then again, you can’t put oil in a lamp if you have no oil.
@kmfayb Yes, it makes me wonder why she did not reach out to her own family or friends for help. I suspect that she didn’t even tell anyone about her cancer or family issues. Most likely, she isolated herself from everyone and kept her problems to herself. Overtime, the unresolved issues built up in her and she took a wrong turn to end it all.
@peachyogurt :/ not sure if it’s still exist today, but many Chinese thinks once you are married, the husband’s family will be her closest, in a sense, her family become estrange/not closed. Also she’s probably embarrassed :/ it’s truly sad that it doesn’t seem like she has any support network
i could only pity, that husband should jump off a building himself
Have no idea who she is but I do feel very sorry about her commit suicide and she looks a bit like Suki Chui. Her husband such a jerk worst than Jackie Chan I would say. She could have moved on and could have been live longer while she still young and she ever thought about who’s going to take care of her children while they’re still so young? sigh.. what a waste. This story reminds me of Pauline Chan?
@cutie777 some depressed people thinks killing themselves is the best they could do for their children as they think they are affecting them: Bringing their mood down, yelling at them because they are depressed and frustrated, etc etc. As much as we can argue the positive side of the parent being alive and take care of their children, the depressed person can’t look beyond their blue pessimistic perspective :/ (and this is where a good support system helps, as the support circle will constantly remind her to be positive) and this is why there are cases where the parents kill their children and commit suicide as they don’t see the child be better off without them. So choosing between the two worst case scenario, I would pick she commit suicide than killing her children then commit suicide :/
Also with her having cancer, the chemo treatments she goes through would affect her hormones a lot, so her being depressed and having suicidal thoughts are not uncommon. It’s very easy for us to say look at the bright side, when the chemicals in our body tells us to be blue :/