Episodic Thoughts: “Bullet Brain” (Episode 8)
Bullet Brain <神探高倫布>
TVB Series 2013
Cast: Wayne Lai, Edwin Siu, Natalie Tong, Ngo Ka Nin, Sire Ma, Joe Junior, Corinna Chamberlain, Brian Burrell, Lau Dan, and Davily Leung.
Disclaimer: This is a watch as I write episodic thoughts and some information may not be accurate since this is memory based. Certain dialogue is reproduced with some creative license adopted. I apologize if there is any mistake. All opinion remains my own.
“COLUMBO.. IS.. DEADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ”
I crashed to earth and was incinerated as I entered earth’s atmosphere. What a bummer of an episode. After episode 8, I am convinced that I will do myself a service by NOT continuing to recap the series. It may be better but from the looks of it, I am afraid not. So yes, this will be my last recap for this series. I give up. I will continue to watch but seriously I have no time to recap something I feel no passion for. I don’t hate it, I don’t love it, which always makes for bad recaps.
Columbo or Dai Hei or whatever fell and he saw Ping On motionless and he crawled to Ping On whilst crying “Ping On! Ping On!” and once there he cried some more “Virgin Mary, please don’t let him die! I give you my life in exchange of his! Take my life, ok? Take mine and return his, ok?” and he took the gun and tried hard to shoot himself but in the end chickened out and fainted.
The rest I need not recap in details. I just need to summarise;
Eva alone and approached by Joanna and they became friends and Joanna teased Eva about liking Columbo and how nice Columbo is, etc and…
I couldn’t stand it anymore and I screamed “IT IS DAI HEI!! NOT COLUMBO!!”. Why you ask? It is not even consistent! Joanna knew Dai Hei as Dai Hei. When Dai Hei started to call himself Columbo she probably moved back to England! She should have and would have called Dai Hei as Dai Hei so all this Columbo nonsense is just inconsistency that I absolutely hate. And Joanna looks to me an airhead. Anyway all was well until Joanna thought Ping On liked Eva and she started go bitchy on Eva until they found out Ping On was shot, Columbo fell from 1st floor in the church and they were both rushed to the hospital and both having brain surgery. And all the time I wondered all those PING ON!!!! DAI HEI!!!! VIRGIN MARY!!!! shouts in the church, surely the priest would have known. And indeed a priest found them and called 999. At that time already got the number 999?
At the hospital Eva and Joanna were told both men were in grave danger and Joanna fainted. Kam and Eva talked to the press and Eva told the press to pray for both men, where she saw Columbo as a superhero and Eva told daddy she wanted to investigate what happened and dragged Joanna along and they went home and saw everything a mess and in the end Eva asked Joanna for keys to Columbo’s place and she went there and as she looked at his things, trying to understand him she saw Columbo doing the things she imagined he would do but in my opinion he certainly would not do and she smiled sadly. Surgery still going on by the way and things do not look good. Ping On’s brain was seriously damaged, whilst Columbo’s insides were bleeding. Both men were seriously and critically injured but Eva was sure they will be ok.
Meanwhile FINALLY NATALIE TONG appears and guess what? A complete dud. I tell you Sire Ma is the leading lady here. Natalie’s first appearance tells us:-
a. she is insane. I mean who will cook in the darkness with flickering light and dressed all in red?
b. she looks insane. Did she kill someone and cook their meat to feed to the guys helping her to carry her things to or from the place?
c. she must be insane as she went to see the marriage registry to register her marriage to Ko Dai Hei!
d. she has had a bad life because her hair is prematurely greyed.
e. she hates Eva. She sees Eva in the elevator and Eva called her “Auntie” (yeah, AUNTIE which shows how old she is or has grown to be due to harsh life) and immediately ran out.
Yeap, that’s the appearance of Natalie Tong as Mui Mui. I know it was supposed to be serious but it was very funny, silly and stupid. It was unintentionally funny.
Back to Eva who went to see Joanna who became very depressed over Ping On and weirdest scene followed where Eva, Joanna and Kam went for picnic and sang the Beatles song. Really weird.
Later Eva was told by the doctor that there was nothing much he can do for Columbo and that Columbo was dying. She went to see him and guess what? HE FLAT LINED!!!!
COLUMBO.. IS.. DEADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Episode 9, I am sure Columbo isn’t dead but I am not recapping anymore. I am fed up.
This series has multiple problems. Each and every episode is like the last episode because everything so damn extreme and ended so extreme and so how to go on? Here you have 2 main characters in coma, TWO MAIN CHARACTERS and that is like the entire series and for entire episode 8, you have Sire Ma holding the fort and I didn’t enjoy her little girl fantasies of the superhero Columbo. She seems delusional, Joanna seems childish and Mui Mui is flat out crazy. What is it with the women in this series?!
So what’s next for Columbo? He obviously won’t die. It is only episode 8 unless Wayne himself said I AM DONE! So he may wake up as Dai Hei again. What about Ping On? Perhaps remain in coma? Or becomes the next Columbo? Surely 2 head wounds/bullet can’t equal amazing recovery. That would be a miracle and next we will see Virgin Mary herself appearing. And with Natalie being flat out insane from the get go, what’s next? More insanity OR she disappears and returns as another woman? How many double identities do we have in this series?
Is this series confusing? No of course not. It is just driving around a very small roundabout and over the same scenery again and again and again. Episode 7 was glorious because it moved on, it has a dramatic appeal and heart wrenching dialogue but when episode 8 started with Columbo rolling on the floor and crying and stuff, the magic was gone. Then we have Eva doing what she was doing, it felt like this was episode 24 before the final episode. This series is like upside down in its content.
So how does it go on? It can’t, without being repetitive, cliche and totally mindblowingly boring. This series has some great actors, some potentially fine actresses but the story is like the first draft of a script where the writers just throw in anything they can think of, to shock, to surprise but no follow up on that elements.
So in the end it is at episode 8 a complete dud. And you have 1t episodes to go? What more can be said?
I wished TVB had follow through with the sales presentation version. This one neither funny nor sad except for certain scenes.
I refuse to blame the actors. I blame the writer and the director. The actors are saddled with incomplete characters, unsatisfying story that goes nowhere. For once I want investigation and they give me unnecessary drama. I cringed at those letter written by folks thanking Columbo for everything. Like Ping On, I was thinking “You can lie to them all but you can never lie to me Columbo!”
And this series is exactly that line. With very good actors and some nice costumes, it looks good but deep down it is an interesting concept badly developed.
In the end it is a dud and I am done recapping it. This is by far Lee Tim Shing’s worst production and I am very disappointed. Perhaps it might be better, and if so I may revisit it with a recap or two. But for now, I think to safeguard my sanity, I will watch this series but not recap it so that I won’t have to relive every minute detail and the horror of them all.
Thank you for reading my recaps and giving me your comments. Perhaps another series will yield a complete recap. But not this time, not this one. For my sake.
- Episodic Thoughts: “Bullet Brain” (Episode 1)
- Episodic Thoughts: “Bullet Brain” (Episode 2)
- Episodic Thoughts: “Bullet Brain” (Episode 3)
- Episodic Thoughts: “Bullet Brain” (Episode 4)
- Episodic Thoughts: “Bullet Brain” (Episode 5)
- Episodic Thoughts: “Bullet Brain” (Episode 6)
- Episodic Thoughts: “Bullet Brain” (Episode 7)
This Episodic Thoughts was written by Funn Lim, a Contributing Writer at JayneStars.com, and was originally posted at http://p2e-bulletbrain.blogspot.com.