Yang Mi: “I’m Not a Perfect Mother”
As she hardly menions about her daughter bicknamed ‘Little Glutinous Rice’ (Xiao Nuomi) in public, A-list actress Yang Mi (楊冪) gave the impression of being an aloof mother– which was confounded by father-in-law Lau Dan‘s (劉丹) hints that she was an irresponsible parent. However, the actress surprised netizens recently, opening up during an interview, and dropping hints of her interactions with Xiao Nuomi!
As Xiaonuomi stays long-term with father Hawick Lau (劉愷威) in Hong Kong, Yang Mi would take time off to visit her whenever she could, though she certainly spends less time with their daughter compared to Hawick, and would even miss out the chance to share important occasions together.
Lau Dan once said in an interview that Yang Mi did not even call during key festivities, and that Xiaonuomi also does not ask about her mother on Mother’s Day. With Lau Dan emphasizing on several occasions that their family treats Xiaonuomi well, and that she is living happily, netizens felt that he was expressing his dissatisfaction and taking a pointed jibe at Yang Mi.
No Consensus on “Perfect Mothers”
Responding to alleged criticism from Lau Dan, Yang Mi expressed her opinion that everyone has a different idea of what “perfect mothers” shoud entail, thus this is why she will certainly not be able be a ‘perfect mother’. Adding that this is not a matter that requires courage as motherhood is a state of being, the actress exemplified high EQ in her responses.
She continued by saying that she prioritizes being a good person first before being a mother, and hopes that she can learn to respect the child’s wishes, so she will be able to learn more of what she is lacking in from the child instead.
Revealing that Xiaonuomi has a passion for drawing and can draw “pretty well”, Yang Mi shared that her daughter and her thus share a common topic of conversation, and would discuss about drawing-related matters. To her, giving the child the necessary support he or she needs, instead of being too controlling, is “probably the best motherhood approach”.
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Never once had I seen YM throwing Hawick and his family under the bus. She was the victim in his cheating scandals, it’s a piece of cake if she wants to blame them but she chose not to do it. She’s not perfect, and it might not be a good thing to not be perfect, but the truth is nobody is perfect. At least she does not brag and lie on the media about how good she is. Some annoying people like Zhao Liying would brag to no end about how good she is when she’s also absent in her child’s life like 99% of the time and only be there 1% during “special occasions”, then she goes online bragging how she did her motherly duties and at the same time, pulls other people like YM down by saying they didn’t do their part. If that plan doesn’t work, then she sends water army to attack the ex-husband FSF and his mother. Before YM’s antis are here, we already know who they are, who they work for and what they want. Some people just can’t be any good on their own, they can’t shine their own light so they think by dimming others will make them shine. YM is right. Work on yourself first before trying to work on anyone else.
No child in this world prefers to not have their mother around 99% of the time. She isn’t a perfect mother, and debatable whether she’s even a decent one. “she prioritizes being a good person first before being a mother” kind of says it all that she places herself before her child.
She is saying if she cannot be a good person herself first how can she lead by example for her child? No one is perfect so it makes sense there is no perfect mother.
Everyone is their individual person, no matter how much anyone loves their child, they are still themselves and the child will have to be their own selves as well. No one can place anyone above their own selves. Even if a child really loves their parents, they can’t place the parents above themselves either until they can help themselves that’s when they can help others. Only one’s own self can assure their own self they are doing the right thing. For rich people like her, she fulfilled the duty of making sure the child lives a lavish lifestyle already so it’s up to the child herself to decide what they want in life. No controlling each other, using each other to gain attention. It’s a plus the child knows who her father is, and she’s loved by grandparents, and people who are her real family.
Your idol ZLY left the child with strangers all the time, who knows his real father, the grandparents don’t even care about him, I feel so bad for him. He’s always a puppet being used for some people to gain attention too. At least YM kept her kids out of the lime light to protect them, anything nasty you have to say, YM is willing to shield them as long as they don’t get to the child. YM is not perfect, maybe not decent, but definitely not bad. I’d seen worse and it’s funny how these water armies just like to pick on YM particularly. Obvious obvious.
This is such old news.
It’s funny how the new movie is coming up, Yang Mi receives lots of compliments and that is not what the news want to show but they want to smack her indirectly. It’s obvious both Yang Mi and Zhao Liying will be in the movie together this time. There was tons of wars from the start. YM was asked for a role first, then ZLY intended to steal the role by having dinner with the director, they ended up keeping both actresses with YM winning the role ZLY wanted. YM played a criminal without makeup and looked very dirty. ZLY bought tons of black drafts saying YM couldn’t act and her projects were not “serious” compare to hers. ZLY then did everything to connect with Zhang Yimou to give her a role in Article 20 as Hao Xiuping, she dressed and styled in the same manner as Yang Mi’s criminal role. Article 20 already aired first so ZLY already planned ahead if YM does well she will have her armies saying YM copied her. I see why the crew did not invite her to Cannes with them, they don’t like her attitudes at all. After she fell out with Zhang Yimou because he was so overwhelmed by her noisy marketing, but having no real box office $, she turned to Midi Z for another similar role, a “criminal” one.
We talked enough about YM being a mother, shouldn’t we talk about someone else by now? How many directors other than Midi Z is the father of ZLY’s child? She sure looks like the better mother.
Sounds like a pretty saying, but it’s just another excuse for not having to spend time with your child. That is really a bare minimal thing to do as a mother. Its not like my dad who needed to work long hours to make ends meet so we didnt see him much. When he had a chance he would take us out on trips when he could. Just saying “I’m not Perfect” to excuse yourself of any mistake is not good enough, especially when being “not perfect” is affecting the wellbeing of others.
I don’t think she’s making excuses for herself. Everyone has different priorities and she obviously prioritizes herself and her career over her child. That’s why she made a responsible decision by giving custody to Hawick Lau.
YM and Hawick’s situation is different from your parents. Both of them don’t lack money, but they’re celebrities. Not every celebrity out there wants to give up careers for their families. Everyone makes different choices in life, not going to judge.
I’ve heard people say they have very loving and great relationships with their surrogate parents, like grandparents, or aunts/uncles. A child doesn’t always need a mother or a father, but needs that maternal and paternal role to thrive.
That said, it can impact children’s mental health to some extent when they understand the concept of parents and how theirs is always absent. More or less a passing thought, though, especially if they grew up with someone else as their main guardian. When my daughter was a baby, she loved my mom (grandma) more than me, and that was because my mom spent most of the time with her.
It sounds like Yang Mi does try whenever she wants to build a relationship with her kid. But it’s a casual relationship. I don’t think there’s as much of a dig surrounding unavailable fathers, e.g. Jackie Chan or Eric Tsang. It’s good to hear that there are men who will step up *more* when the mom’s not in the picture. With birth rate at an all time low, things are finally changing. Men and women are deciding to have no kids, because let’s be honest, childcare is a huge responsibility and not everyone is equipped to handle that. Instead of women continuing to dominate childrearing (statistically fact, so no anecdotal evidence here), they’re now choosing their careers over household management or childcare. Men have always chosen that, and now they also get to be SAHD. Things are equalizing.