The COVID-19 pandemic has negatively affected the entire world causing many people to be out of work and bringing many inconveniences to daily life. However, every cloud has a silver lining and this pandemic has given many the gift of time. Radio personality Sammy Leung (森美) is one of the many who have gained and lost during the pandemic. He has lost many work opportunities, however has gained a lot of time to spend with his family. Writing down his reflections, Sammy will be releasing two books this year, one about love and raising children and the other about life in general.
In February, Sammy went through a scary ordeal when his parents were quarantined aboard a cruise ship during the height of the pandemic. Counting his blessings over their safety, Sammy has also come to the realization that there are only two important things in a lifetime: love and life. Love gives the greatest meaning to life, including the love you have for your family, work, and friends.
Encourages Children to Date
His 17-year-old son has also returned from England where he was studying abroad. Other than worrying over his son’s health, Sammy is most interested in whether his son has a girlfriend. He constantly asks whether he has met a British girlfriend, but his son refuses to answer and denies having a crush on anyone. Sammy joked that he was disappointed and his son is wasting his money. “He should experience life and find a girlfriend as soon as possible! I always encourage my children to date–I feel that you need to experience love and the obstacles that come with it. They should treat it as a learning opportunity. Many people switch through multiple partners during their life until they find their Mr. or Mrs. Right. Only a small portion of people will meet their life partner early on. If you can survive through obstacles together and learn from it, your relationship will only become stronger.”
The Measurement of Love
Sammy has been married to his wife Veronica for 20 years and they encounter problems almost every single day. “Everyone has their own temperament, and it is easy to forget to love the other person a little more.” Every time his wife hears his relationship theories, she feels that he is using this opportunity to complain that she does not love him enough. This leads to arguments and Sammy helplessly said, “I just want to remind her to try loving me more than loving herself.”
Believing that everyone has a different way of measuring love, Sammy feels that it is important to not compare your actions against your partner’s. “Everyone has a different way of quantifying love–you use centimeter and I use feet. How can we compare? Therefore, it is best to only use your actions as the standard and compare with yourself. If you are willing to sacrifice for your partner, this means that you love her. If you are not willing to accommodate her, this does not mean that you do not love her. It only means that you love yourself a little more. If you use this as a guideline, your views on love will be very clear.” Sammy is very proud of his “love measurement” concept and always tells his children to tell others that it is his idea.
Theory of a Harmonious Relationship
In his new book Lonely Gifted Student <孤獨的資優生>, he shares his values on raising children. Joking that this book is actually for women to learn how to control their husbands, Sammy writes from the point of view of a husband and shares what their ideal wives will be like. In one excerpt, he states that women should allow their husbands to release some energy outside of the house so that they can be more loving when they return. “For example, when men go to play soccer, their testosterone will increase thus their feelings of love will also become stronger. If he sits at home all day, his testosterone levels will remain the same and he will be less affectionate. He may even be frustrated and annoyed!”
Honest in sharing that men will always look at physical appearances, Sammy said if his wife Veronica does not maintain her appearance, it is hard for the couple to maintain their relationship. He understands that his wife had a tough time giving birth and raising children, so he appreciates that Veronica is able to maintain her beautiful appearance and fit figure through outdoor activities like horseback riding and ice-skating. “I still feel that my wife is very pretty. Every time I am reminded of her beauty, I find it easier to continue loving her. I always tell her that I like her for her appearance and not her inner beauty!”
All jokes aside, Sammy clarified that his wife has a very good personality and does not have a temper. Every time they argue, she will be the first to walk into their room and will come out once she has calmed down. “No matter how wrong I am, my wife has never shown her annoyance. She can easily let things go, but I have a really bad temper and big emotional ups and downs. I’m always the one who lets my temper get the best of me. My friends are all jealous because their wives are the ones that show their annoyance.”
On the other hand, Sammy’s wife has more of a rational personality and can sometimes lack in gentleness. “I like women who are gentle and will show their cute side, but she isn’t this type.”
As their children grow older, Sammy has a morbid theory that life can be finished. Other than his genes, Sammy will also be leaving his books to his children. He hopes that they can guide them through life. Even in today’s technologically-filled society, he insists on writing his life experiences and theories on love every day by hand. He then compiles them into a book every year. Sammy hopes that his book will prepare his children for their first breakups. “Some people say that the pain from your first breakup is akin to the pain of losing your father. So I want them to experience dating and to find their other half. Though of course I don’t want them to go through losing their father!”
This article is written by Kiki for JayneStars.com.