Barbie Hsu Receives Backlash for Hypocritical Statement in Having Kids

By on July 6, 2019 in NEWS

Barbie Hsu Receives Backlash for Hypocritical Statement in Having Kids

Friendships are difficult to keep in the entertainment industry. However, Barbie Hsu (徐熙媛), Dee Hsu (徐熙娣), Mavis Fan (范曉萱), and Aya Liu (柳翰雅) have maintained their friendship for more than 20 years. The four friends are currently taking part in the Chinese reality television show, Friends on the Go <我們是真正的朋友>. In the most recent episode, the women chatted about life and children. Other than Mavis, who is still single, the other three are already married and have children.

On the topic of children, Dee lamented about having to take care of a slew of things for her children after returning home from work. Barbie shared the same sentiments as Dee and teased that Mavis shouldn’t have children. However, Aya sang a different tune and expressed that having children is quite nice.

Barbie retorted, “Why must people have children of their own? If you want to take care of a child, you can take care of unwanted children who have been given up on. You can adopt. There’s no need to abide by whatever nonsensical reasons like ‘passing on the last name’ or ‘have children so they can take care of you in old age’ to have children. If people have this mindset, then they really shouldn’t have children.”

Barbie’s sermon brought about opposing reactions from netizens. Some netizens praised Barbie for her forward thinking, writing, “I quite agree with what Barbie said. If there is no love, then even if you birth the child, the child will not grow up in a decent environment. Children need love in order to grow up happily and healthily. People shouldn’t hastily have kids for some irresponsible reason.”

On the other hand, some netizens were quick to admonish Barbie for being a hypocrite, “She has two kids of her own. Yet, she goes and tells others not to have children. She is saying one thing, but doing another.”

Source: HK01

This article is written by Huynh for JayneStars.com.

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  • 20 comments to Barbie Hsu Receives Backlash for Hypocritical Statement in Having Kids

    1. bearbear says:

      I did not watch that reality programme so no idea if she really said that. However, if she did, she deserves to be called out. Until she starts adopting children and raising as her own, she is being a hypocrite and self-righteous.
      There is nothing wrong voicing support for adoption or even doing more by actually adopting one (like S Korean actor Cha In-Pyo and his wife Shin Ae Ra adopted 2 children after the birth of their only son). Yet this Barbie Hsu has two children of own while condemning others for doing exactly what she is doing. Why then did she not do what she preaches?

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      • littlefish replied:

        @bearbear i think her in-law wouldn’t allow her that freedom. I remember there was an article saying how she received a lot of pressure from the in law to have children and multiple one at that. So maybe that’s why she said what she said? I could be wrong though, my memory ain’t as good as it used to be lol

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        • bearbear replied:

          @littlefish I seem to recall too, reading articles speculating how her MIL wanted a grandson and her initial difficulty in doing so.
          There is nothing wrong to give in to family/in-law pressure, each has their own difficulty however, expecting others to live to a certain standard while not seeing the hypocrisy of oneself doing the opposite is a joke.
          If she is ineloquent and could not properly verbally support adoption then perhaps she should just keep quiet about it and silently support by donating to the cause. Now she is just coming across as someone who bows down to her in-laws while trying to be the righteous about having the “right” attitude to start a family.
          Did she not just months ago receive backlash when she and her husband went on reality show featuring celebrity couples and how she preached another celebrity wife of how one should be pampered by the husband – that she would never eat prawn unless her husband removes the shells for her.

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        • littlefish replied:

          @bearbear I see. I don’t really follow her news or watch reality tv. Sad to see she’s that type of woman! I like her enough because she’s a great actress, and that she seems to have to deal with real life stuffs like postnatal depression, all the bad ends of pregnancy and giving birth, but it’s not cool to say stuffs about other and don’t follow yourself!

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    2. vortex123 says:

      O This happened to me my friend who is a family doctor herself at that time she just gave birth to her son. She knows I have been going through fertility treatment and also seeing chinese doc. She tells me not to have kids you don’t get sleep but at that time she has plans for a second one. Recently she messaged me she is pregnant with her second one and is due September. She wants me to come out and join her family to their weekly zoo outing before she delivers. Right now I am preparing for ivf and I don’t want to hear from her anymore her complaints having kids. Plus it is awkward hanging out with them alone since my husband works out of town me and her family of 3.5.i just don’t respond back.

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      • littlefish replied:

        @vortex123 that’s very insensitive of your friend. What you are doing is right, and even if what she said maybe to help you feel less pressured about having kids, started from a good place, but still insensitive. Best of luck with everything, a few of my friends are having a lot of up and down with ivf, but persevere and you will get there 🙂

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        • vortex123 replied:

          @littlefish my thoughts when she said that was she was preventing me from having kids. It is like some people would tell you don’t get married it is not fun getting married etc when they are happily married themselves. I am happy I can’t have kids easily because it makes me sensitive to couples who doesn’t have kids. I won’t ask them are they planning to have kids. Barbie hsu doesn’t seem to have trouble having kids so that explains her comments. She did lose her third child though but she didn’t plan to have a third in the first place.

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    3. wm2017 says:

      She was also very afraid before this guy married her w/i months that she will not be able to have children or even get married at the time she’s in her late 30’s. That’s why there are more hypocrites than genuine people all around. Lol…If that’s really what she thinks then there was no reason for her to be afraid of no marriage prospects or late marriage as she can easily adopt then why was she in a such a hurry to pop them out while she still could? lol….sigh…I can think of a similar situation of ‘hypocrites’. I once had an older colleague who’s a viet and hubby is probably Chinese. They had a daughter in the US. One time they were discussing about about kids these days are so different from back in the days and this colleague goes ‘I would be happy if she can still be a virgin at 18 years old’ in a very happy and braggy tone. The next day or so she was telling other colleagues her dad and I will break her legs if she dares to go all out w/boys before she’s 20 this time in a angry/serious tone. ??? Some people they just love saying one thing and totally means another. Seen it all the time.

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    4. coralie says:

      While I agree with her logic, it’s really hypocritical for her to say stuff like that when she has multiple kids of her own.

      I do wonder if she didn’t mention this specifically because she’s aware that her friend wants kids because of those reasons – to carry on family name, for retirement planning, fulfilling family legacy or out of desire for companionship. Let’s be honest – most Asian parents want children specifically for those reasons. If those motivations did not exist, I suspect a lot more people would adopt and/or not have children at all

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      • littlefish replied:

        @coralie some people just couldn’t imagine that they can love some strangers’s kids. I also think like Barbie once, but my partner is like I don’t think I can do that. He is also the type not care about children, until our son was born. Once he has the son, he loves and know what it is to be a father. So I would say a lot of time, it’s not about carrying the name or the genes, but more importantly, they are realistic and think they can’t love someone else’s kid.

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        • coralie replied:

          @littlefish it’s really hard to say that your husband wouldn’t have fallen in love with an adopted child if he wasn’t given that opportunity. I think it’s human nature to love defenseless creatures and want to bond to them, regardless if they’re our own. Maybe he would’ve reacted the same too if you two had adopted.

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        • littlefish replied:

          @coralie yea, I agree. But the problem is that initial step. If one thinks we can conceive normally, and we are not that badly wanting children then why bother adopting, even if he will later on love that adopted child just as much as his own. The first step is always the hardest, and your mind is your worst enemy lol. And my husband is the type that won’t bother xD too much work, won’t bother! So there is that idea xD I think many people are like that, too. Just my 2cent

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        • coralie replied:

          @littlefish most people who don’t have those motivations would probably prefer not having kids at all, like your husband. i feel the same way he does lol.

          but there are some that want to mentor & nurture kids without those motivations (or they hate pain or hate having to deal with babies/little kids lol, like my younger sister.) they prefer skipping that stage and start from the next phase as quickly as possible.

          i think my sister’s too young to grasp societal pressure and biological impetus to have kids, though. so we’ll see if she actually follows through on adopting/not having her own kids.

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        • littlefish replied:

          @coralie life is full of surprise, and I don’t blame people who has doubt about bearing children. My pregnancy is not an easy one, but not as bad as the bad case out there, so I do symphathise with people who fear of the whole pregnancy and birthing process. My husband is great with children, he plays with them very well, no matter who they are, my friend explained it because he doesn’t have to take care of every little thing for them, so to him, it’s refreshing to play with children, and he therefore has more motivations than us mother who has to deal with the baby 80% of the other time. My husband is quite hand on, but it’s also true that he doesn’t spend that much time with my son as he has to work. It’s hard to say how one really feel unless they go through the whole parenting, reflect upon it, and tell you lol

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        • coralie replied:

          @littlefish oh yea, i am the same way as your husband lol. i think i’m great with kids, but i dread the idea of being main caretaker 24/7 for the next 18 years. my husband actually doesn’t like kids much, but wants his own. he thinks having his own kids is different from taking care of others’ kids. i mean, i can understand that pov, but i still think he’s naive. it’s just the novelty he likes, not the actual caretaking part. but we’ll see if he changes his mind when we have one someday.

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    5. iampheng says:

      I’m single with no children and most of the people who tell me never to get married or have children are women who are married with children haha. I have been told that once you start your own family, as the female partner, your life is no longer your own. Since I have no first hand experience and no desire to get married anyway, I just listen quietly.

      That being said, I am an educator and work closely with low income urban youth, and can tell others that you can love the children of others very much. I can’t make comparisons to my own children, as I don’t have any, but I feel my life so far has been enriched by the young ppl I work with. I realize that not everyone will/can/should feel the same way as me.

      Perhaps, Barbie was also expressing a sentiment that she holds dear but could not meet because of family pressure. I think in this case, it’s better to think positively on behalf of adopting children who aren’t so fortunate than to guess what a stranger is really thinking.

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    6. jjwong says:

      Unless there’s more comment from her, but I don’t think it’s hypocritical for her to say that. She said don’t have kids for other reasons other then you want kids for your own happiness and ready for them. She didn’t claim that’s what she did; again, unless she said the reason for her to have kids isn’t bc what she said. I think it’s an open secret that she has kids bc of her in law, marriage, whatnot. Unlike what Linda Chun claimed about not marrying for the sake of marrying and she herself trying to paint her own marriage isn’t settling and for the sake of marrying.

      That said, everyone is different. So stop imposing what we think is right for ourself and thinking that’s right for the one next to us. We may be do out of best intention though.

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      • jjwong replied:

        @jjwong Also want to add that we sometime say opposing things because we think it makes the other person feels better. e.g. a friend with kids telling the friend can’t have kid but wants kid that kids are bad because the former friend probably thinks and believes it’s a good/right thing to say to the no-kid friend. If you are hurt by it, I would tell her how you feel and don’t suffer in silent.
        If both are truly friends, there’ll be a way/change. (Sry, Can’t scroll up to see who said this comment. Huggy.)

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        • vortex123 replied:

          @jjwong i mentioned to that friend that I have to go through acupunture and I got my blood withdraw so much that my arms got bruised. She asked me does it hurt doing acupunture when her parents are Chinese doctor themselves which I pointed to her she should know because of her parents. She then says yes I remember it hurts. It is better I don’t say anything because people would ask stupid questions like I have explain ovulation doesn’t occur same day of the month. I have a 50 something year old coworker who wanted second child but she stopped producing eggs at 39. I thought she would be the most understanding whenever I tell her stuff like my period not here for two months she would say I am understress. I do tell ppl I am doing IVF soon because my friends and previous co-workers wants me to come out pretty much every weekend. That way they understand why I am no show. The best treatment for myself is to be alone.

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    7. m0m0 says:

      well, i think for me, i would tell people that having kids isn’t as glorified as some people make give credit to it. while i am unsure if this is an entirely as asian thing, i find that asian people esp the older folks, they would already start drilling about marriage and children. if a person is married, the next thing is if they have children and the same question would come up again if the answer if no. growing up, i thought that getting married and having kids before 30 was the #1 priority just b/c every chinese parent including mine do that to people of marriageable age or child-bearing age. there was a sense of urgency as i grew older, like i’d be single rest of my life if i don’t start popping out children.
      i eventually got married but married life, is plain mundane, esp if you have kids. it is after i have my own kids that i realized, i should have lived my life differently and tried other things. i think there are things only after you experience, you realize it is not for you and could have waited out longer. i don’t think i would go as far as recommending adoption, but i can attest that married life w/ kids is definitely not a thing for everyone. you may think you like kids, you will love your own but after having them, you’d realize that there are other better things and kids can wait and take things naturally.
      i can see myself saying very similar things like barbie.

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