Bosco Wong Comment on Wife and Mother Relationships
Bosco Wong (黃宗澤) appeared as a 4R ambassador at an environment awareness event. At the event, Bosco demonstrated bicycling and noted that his recent passion was cycling. One time, he rode a bicycle from Sha Tin to Hung Hom, but without Myolie Wu (胡杏兒).
Recently, there have been numerous break-ups in the entertainment circle in which upset partners complained about each other. Bosco admitted that he paid attention to the recent news involving Shirley Yeung (楊思琦) and Gregory Lee (李泳豪). Bosco said, “Every family has their own difficulties. Each person has his or her own difficulties. One of the first conditions in my mate selection criteria is that she gets along harmoniously with my family. Otherwise, it is very troublesome to be caught in the middle between my future wife and mother. The ideal situation is to live separately [from my mother] after marriage. However, it is good to live nearby to take care of each other.”
Source: Orientaldaily.on.cc
Jayne: A wise choice to find someone who gets along with your family. However, do people really think about this criteria from the outset or only when they are approaching marriage intentions? Somehow, in-law compatibility seems to worsen over time, as each party puts in less effort to impress each other.
“The ideal situation is to live separately [from my mother] after marriage. However, it is good to live nearby to take care of each other”
This sounds like what Shirley-Greg was doing at one time which Shirley deemed their happiest moment. God knows why Shirley-Greg move into Shih Ming’s house? Or maybe stingy Shirley really got tired of paying the rent.
please dont,they both are best couple from tvb and real life.
“The ideal situation is to live separately [from my mother] after marriage. However, it is good to live nearby to take care of each other”
I actually find Bosco’s comment to be really sensible. Even though I am still young, I believe that when approaching marriage, it is essential that families get along, at least pretty well. Because I value family a lot, I would like my partern to get along with my mother and sisters harmoniously. On the other hand, I know that when the mother in law lives with the couple, problems will quickly surface. It is way better to not live all together, but live in a nearby area so that the family members can contact and visit each other more comfortably.
On another note, why is Bosco Wong getting more handsome everytime I see a new photo of him? hehe 😀
So Bosco dun want to live with his family after marriage?
I think that he means that he wants to stay in the same area but not in the same house.
Like now is perfect, lol. Live with Myolie upstair, downstair is mother.
Once you are married, it is really hard to live together since many problems would occur…
Haughty he finally shaved his moustache….that means they are done filming!!
The series is going to aired.
Why can’t he have the same levelheadedness when parading himself in full view of everyone?
He is right though. And read between the lines; he chooses his family first, his wife second.
You can choose your wife & friends but you can’t change your family, that’s why he put family first.
Totally agree with Bosco!
I agree with what Bosco said but many things are a lot easier said than done. When you are in love, you are blinded by many things. I have seen some cases where the guy or even girl would leave her whole family behind and elope because their family did not approve of their relationship. It is sad, but in the end, if you were truly faced with a situation like that, who would you really choose???
I agree with what he says too. Men in general are afraid of choosing between their gf/wives & mothers.
Easier to keep each person’s cool if you don’t stay together anyway. People these days are so tolerant anymore.
Of course traditionally, men would choose their mom since you can only have 1 mom but you can have many wives…
After marriage it is better to live separately from parents. Otherwise it would put a strained to the marriage itself. It is better if they live nearby and can take care of them. Husband will always caught in between Mom and wife. Doesn’t matter how filial a person is ,everybody is unique and leaving together is challenging. It’s already challenging enough for 2 person to live under one roof, if you add more, things will get even more complicated. Experience it first hand and doesn’t look forward for the next one.
Eh… annoying in-laws can break a marriage. I have a friend who is contemplating divorcing her husband and one of the biggest reasons is her in-laws! They don’t even live with her, but her husband has a large family, over 10 brothers and sisters and they are constantly visiting… making a mess of her house, takes advantage of her husbands generosity as he is the most successful of all his siblings, never cleans up after their messes, has to drive em to and fro.. etc, etc. Over the years, its has just taken a toll on their marriage… her husband simply doesn’t stand up for her nor does he put his foot down when his family crosses certain boundaries. She doesn’t feel it’s right to prevent him from seeing his family but at the same time, she just doesn’t want to put up with it anymore. All around it’s a sad situation.
Of course mother and family is important, but at the same time, if it begins to affect your own family and wife, shouldn’t the husband stand up for her? Not to say he should be an un-filial son, but he should set boundaries w/ his family.
The most difficult situation is when the wife and mother are constantly fighting…If the man doesn’t step his foot in and try to do something about it, it is most definite that sooner or later the couple will take separate ways. I am just saying that through my experience.
not just your experience. Shirley-Greg ugly breakup war is also because Shirley and Lee’s family don’t get along well and Greg don’t do anything and just suck it up
Here, it seems like the husband has to take some responsibility to clear some boundaries for the in-laws. Not saying he should not help them financially at all, but to have received assistance and still trash the house like this, is quite disrespectful and anyone has the right to be angry. If the husband doesn’t set the limits and the train the in-laws to be respectful when they visit. Even if your friend divorced her husband, the problem will still exist when the husband remarries, if he does.
It’s probably good for your friend and husband to sit down and have a honest talk with the in-laws even though I sense that some Asians are so difficult to reason with. Sometimes, they would feel it’s a duty for the financially better off ones to support the lesser ones, which I don’t disagree. But to not show any form of respect after receiving the aid, anyone would feel angry. The husband’s generosity is good, but he should be more responsible too.
She has tried, but like a lot of Asian men, he’s quite stubborn and refuses to ‘talk’ about sensitive issues. It’s actually quite odd that in his family, all of his four brothers have gotten a divorce and all of their ex-wives hated his family.
I feel bad for this friend of yours Judy. If all the brothers have broken marriage, there is definitely something wrong in this family. The husband’s family in my opinion sounds very inconsiderate and insensitive and the husband himself doesn’t have enough “back bone”.
“I have a friend who is contemplating divorcing her husband and one of the biggest reasons is her in-laws! They don’t even live with her, but her husband has a large family, over 10 brothers and sisters and they are constantly visiting… making a mess of her house, takes advantage of her husbands generosity as he is the most successful of all his siblings, never cleans up after their messes, has to drive em to and fro.. etc, etc. Over the years, its has just taken a toll on their marriage… her husband simply doesn’t stand up for her nor does he put his foot down when his family crosses certain boundaries. She doesn’t feel it’s right to prevent him from seeing his family but at the same time, she just doesn’t want to put up with it anymore.”
A pity isn;t it? And from your description, she doesn’t have a problem with her husband as her husband, but more on the fact of his family. Look, unless you marry into a very small family or your husband’s family’s all dead, even if you remarry it will be the same situation, whether 1 sibling, 10 siblings, 100 siblings. There are always bad apples in the family. Yes he should have drawn a boundary, especially when he is being taken advantage but what you see as taken advantage may be to him is sibling love. You can’t come between a man and his family, or a man and his career, or a man and his car for the matter of fact. To divorce for such a reason, when there is nothing wrong with him (or maybe there is if you really look at the whole picture) is a waste of a good marriage. I think your friend should give him an ultimatum. Either move further away and consider immediate family first, help out but only to reasonable means, see case by case basis or divorce.
If your friend loves him, she has to put up with some problems. At least it is not another woman or drinking/gambling/violent problems.
What a waste.
And how much boundaries should he set? It will never be enough. She will expect him to stand beside her 100%, he will expect her to stand 100% beside him. Point is, if your son is the way he is with the wife as in 100% beside her, how would you feel? Sorry to say, I feel the wife has to put up with that, if the husband is a good man. The only thing women shouldn’t put up with is violence and infidelity. The rest can be negotiated.
Yes, most issues in marriage is negotiable. Perhaps there are other issues that she did not tell me about. Perhaps the family situation placed a rift in the marriage which caused her to fall out of love w/ him. She still thinks that he is a good man, but she can no longer see herself spending the rest of her life w/ him. Perhaps, if he had placed boundaries sooner, such as asking his family to stay @ a hotel when visiting, or cleaning up after them himself rather than leaving it all for her, or not asking her to drive them everywhere.. then it may not have come to this. I don’t think she expects him to stand by her 100%, but if this issue is very important to her and affecting their marriage, then he should have done more. If I were a mother-in-law, I would not want to affect my son’s marriage… I would be open-minded. Doesn’t mean my son doesn’t love me, but I won’t be around forever to take care of him, it’s gonna be his wife who will grow old w/ him.
@Judy
Your friend just got unlucky she got in laws from hell
so pitiful and remind me of Shirley-Greg situation.
^this is to Judy’s comment up there
I would also want to live near my parent to take care of them. It can be a tough situation though, if my future husband also want to live near his parent.
Haha yeah it could be a tough situation there. It’s easy to say theoretical things now but it’s hard when we are caught in these kind of situation. Argh I wish I won’t have all these dilemma.
Easy!! All buy places near each other. Like in the same suburb or in the same block of apartments. But whatever it is don’t all live under one roof.
Parents mostly will prefer to stay at their beloved home and make the son or daughter decide new place
The harmonious relationship really depends on the individual personalities and attitude of all parties; the husband, the wife, and the mother-in-law.
I’ve also seen a real life case where the daughter-in-law is the one with bad attitude and will put more weight on her family and neglect husband’s. The mother-in-law is too gentle and don’t want to trouble the son and just let it be. How troublesome to my eyes.
Jayne touch the right note about less effort after marriage. Everything was fine before they got married but the wife turned into a spoiled woman who wants everything her way once they move further into marriage life.
In the end they separated, and later the husband married a divorcee with a child – who can actually treat and love his mum just like her own. They got another baby recently 🙂
True true! Some spouse thinks by having their own family they need to separate their spouse from their family. I am pretty annoyed when after you’re married, your immediate family is your children and your spouse. For me my immediate family includes my parents and my siblings and I consider them and my children closer to me than my spouse, if I have one.
Anyway I talk big only! Maybe I will be so head over heels in love I wouldn’t care anything about my family anymore. Love makes you do stupid things.
Funn,
Your comment is true if you don’t have children in the relationship. When children are not involve, your parents and siblings are definitely the most important. However, once there are children involve, the children should then be the first and foremost + spouse (by love/respect and association).
I do hope that more parents will think of there children well being.
Nina
@Funn
Why I think Masaharu’s story is actually about some b-t-h who before become a wife is all ok with HIS FAMILY but after become wife is biased to HER FAMILY = her mum, her dad etc and neglect HIS FAMILY = his mum, his dad etc and don’t involve kids? Sounds like the woman just not ready for married life and have another set of parent
Nina, some part I agree that is children but other parts I disagree, spouse. I have very little respect for a man who neglects his own family in favour of his wife/children BUT I also have very little respect for a man who does not favour his wife/children. I believe it is about striking a balance. Married with kids does not mean you are cut off from your family. Blood is thicker than water, spouse can leave but family stays. But if your family is totally screwed up, then logically speaking you should walk away before you’re screwed up and whatever failure that were your parents and siblings, you can learn from that, create your own family and try best not to screw up as well.
@fox support you always.