Aaron Yan’s Parents Didn’t Accept His Homosexuality and Threatened to Kill Themselves

Since he was a teen, Aaron Yan (炎亞綸) knew he was gay. His traditional parents were unwilling to accept his homosexuality, and even threatened to kill themselves unless Aaron changed his preference. This continued to be a sensitive topic in the family for 20 years, often resulting in intense arguments between Aaron and his parents.

Aaron’s sexual orientation came to light when his former boyfriend went to the press and accused him of cheating in love. Although Aaron denied dating three men at the same time, he admitted that he didn’t end the relationships well which led to the misunderstanding. “I apologize to each person that I had hurt,” Aaron said.

Parents Rejected Aaron’s Homosexuality

While Aaron’s complicated love life sounds headache inducing, his struggle with his own parents over his homosexuality is even more heart wrenching. His parents reacted extremely when they discovered their teenage son was gay.

Every two to three days, Aaron’s parents would threaten him with their suicides. Aaron recalled, “One time, my father wrapped a wire around his neck until he was close to dying. He told me to put on his socks and send him on his way.”

Aaron’s older brother had died when he was only one year old. His mother put all her expectations on Aaron and hoped he would get married and have a family in the traditional sense. While in school, his mother became very controlling over whom he could socialize with, hoping his sexual orientation would change.

His parents remained stubborn over the next 20 years. Even after Aaron became an artiste, he continued to have disagreements with his parents. In an argument with them, Aaron injured his hand while slamming into a wall. His injury was reported in the news, but Aaron kept the real reason behind the injury to himself at the time.

It has been a long and difficult journey, but Aaron finally figured out a way to get along better with his parents. His relationship with his family has improved and he is grateful for his family’s concern.

Aaron recalled experiencing a breakup one day before his university entrance exams, and how his mother had made him feel better. His lover initiated the breakup, which made Aaron cry heart-brokenly every day. He described the feeling, “It felt like something was sucked out of my body and something was missing in my heart. It felt painfully empty.” Aaron stayed home and sang many sad songs, and his mother complimented him, “It’s the first time I’m so moved by your singing.”

Source: Ettoday

This article is written by Jayne for JayneStars.com.

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  1. There’s a biological link to homosexuality. I read about this a while back. The chances of boys born gay is higher if they weren’t a firstborn. This seems to be the case for Aaron.

      1. @coralie Thank you for the links. Very interesting findings… I’ll definitely take my time to peruse these articles.

        I’ve always been of the belief that the basis of homosexuality has more of a biological component than an environmental one (after all, there are many individuals who identify themselves as homosexual with largely normal upbringings). I do theorize, however, that their environment has the potential to either offset or trigger the expression.

        Good to know there are some scientific evidence to potentially support this.

      1. @hetieshou @sugarcane @coralie I believe homosexuality is a child developmental issue, where there are factors in the environment that influences his sexual orientation while he was growing up. He realized that he was gay when he was a teen.

      2. @peachyogurt

        That is just one theory as another theory is that you are just born that way. Basically is it the environmental factors or you are just born that way or is it a combination of both? Who truly knows?

        I have a cousin that is gay and my aunt(his mom) was wondering how it can be as no one else in our family or her side of the family has that “illness”? Old traditional people like my aunt still refer to being gay as an illness.

      3. @hetieshou I would have to learn more about your cousin’s childhood to really know the reason why he is gay. But the main way to prevent homosexuality is that the boy has to develop a bonding relationship with the father between the ages of 3 to 6. If the dad is absent, was not really there for the child, or rejects the child, then it could affect the ability to bond with the dad.

      4. @peachyogurt
        My cousin had both his parents in his life all the time so I think he was born gay. My uncle( his dad) was always with him in his life since the beginning. Are you saying all boys who do not have a father figure will become gay? I do not believe that.

        In Aaron’s case, his father was always with him from what I know. I have a good feeling he was not gay or bi because of lacking a father figure. If lacking a father figure made all guys gay then I wonder about those boys who are raised by single mothers?

        I doubt you can prevent anyone from being gay if they were born like that.

      5. @hetieshou No, I am not saying that all boys who do not have a father will become gay, but that a lack of bonding with the father during the critical stages of childhood can cause one to seek out homosexual relationships. So that even if the child had a father, but if the boy was not able to bond with the father during those ages, then it could affect the boy to want to bond with men in the future. This is only one factor, and there are many. And every circumstance is different. If the mother was a single mother, but the boy was able to bond with another adult male, be it grandpa or uncle, then it could lessen the likely hood. Once again, I do not know your cousin, so I cannot say what are the exact reasons.

      6. @peachyogurt

        But I get the idea that you are saying that homosexuality is something that is learned due to not bonding with a male figure which is not always the case. Some are just born that way in spite of the environmental factors. However, it varies and I was not only referring to my cousin but just gays in general. Who truly knows why anyone is gay, lesbian or whatever for sure? We can only speculate and assume things which may or may not be true.

      7. @peachyogurt I honestly think is biological. I believe that what you are talking about is considered an outdated view. I understand what you are saying because they used to think that years ago when I was growing up but more and more research is leading to an view of a genetic marker and or hormonal fluctuations in the womb.

      8. @peachyogurt Erh, I completely disagree with this. If your argument is boy who doesn’t spend time with their dad, make them gay, then girl who doesn’t spend time with their mum make them lesbian? (Pretty sure the girl case is highly incorrect). Not only that, spending time with say the dad more than the mom is rather a result of what he/she was born with. Instead of it’s being the cause of their sexuality.

        So if a child was born with the genetic that leaning toward being gay, he would like to play with doll more, and hang out with his mum more. Not because not hanging out with his dad cause him to be gay.

      9. @peachyogurt I agree with @hetieshou . There are gay fathers out there, but how come their sons grew up to be straight men? If factors in the environment can influence one’s sexual orientation, shouldn’t sons who were raised or adopted by gay fathers have higher chance of being gay? There are Christian men whose’s families are strong believers, and so anti gay. But these men turned out to be gays. And “the boy has to develop a bonding relationship with the father between the ages of 3 to 6”, how deep is the bonding? Many boys had deep bonding with their fathers or fathers that weren’t absent to their lives, but they still grew up to be gay. (I’m not trying to attack you, just asking.)

      10. @sabrina Good questions. The environmental/developmental factor that I discussed is a bonding issue with a male adult, and not because the parent is gay and the child will follow the homosexual behavior of the parent. So even if a boy who is being raised by a male parent who is gay, the boy can still develop a bond with a male adult. It does not matter what religion or beliefs a person has, if the bonding with the father did not develop or there can be other factors involved. And like I said in my previous post, bonding issue is only one factor. There are many other factors, such as being bullied and rejected by boys in school or being sexually assaulted by a male adult. I was only listing bonding as one example.

      11. @peachyogurt I understand what you are saying, but I disagree that lack of bonding with a male figure or having trauma contributes to being gay. We have single mothers with no male figures in their lives, raise children without them being gay. This lack of bonding with the opposite sex would not explain why there are lesbians, either.

        Being gay is on a spectrum with the expression likely due to genetic factors. That’s why humans are not the only beings with homosexuality. We see families with multiple gay members. Those that do not have gay members are not looking closely enough, have been in suppression, or may be the initial case.

        You can be raised in a loving home with both parents with no trauma and still be gay. That is why it isn’t an illness, it isn’t caused by anything external, it is a genetic expression.

      12. @potatochip The lack of bonding as I mentioned in my previous posts is only one factor. There are many other environmental factors and sometimes it’s a combination of multiple factors before it can lead to homosexuality. This lack of bonding is mainly for male homosexuality, I have not been able to study female homosexuality yet, but sometimes it has to do with being abused/sexually assaulted by men, and they feel safer with women. Again, this is only one factor, and there are many factors involved that is not based on the home environment, but outside environment. It’s easier for people to believe that its a genetic/biological issue, because they can claim that it’s something they cannot control, than to confront a traumatic issue or problem in their past. And yes, some may have a genetic disposition if multiple family members are gay. But I don’t believe all gay people have a genetic expression to be gay.

      13. @peachyogurt Perhaps there may be some environmental factors in a few cases, but the significant majority is not.

        I have many close friends, family members, and patients who are gay. None would agree with you that environmental factors caused them to be gay. They knew early in childhood that they were primarily attracted to the same sex. They would be insulted by the insinuation of “fixing” the environmental factors would fix them. No. Being gay is not a defect. They don’t need to control it. Society needs to control its discrimination and let people live their lives.

      14. @potatochip Yes, I agree with you that any kind of discrimination is wrong. I believe first generation homosexuals are influenced by developmental/environmental factors, which in turned later created a genetic disposition for second, third, fourth, etc. generations. It would be interesting to learn about the history of the very first person in the ancestral lineage of your family who became homosexual. I believe it is harder for the generations after the first to change their attraction to the same-sex. Even though they cannot change their same-sex attraction, they can always choose whether to engage in homosexual behavior. It is always a choice, and no one is forcing to fix them.

      15. @peachyogurt what you are saying is the violent cases of abuses where one turns away from their natural sexuality, so those gay cases as a matter of fact should be excluded. Whereas if we keep all things equal, no abuse, normal bonding from both set of parents, people still turn out gay, aka they are born with it.

      16. @littlefish Yes, I believe some may have a genetic disposition to be gay, but I do not believe that genetics is the only cause for all cases of homosexuality, or exclude the possibility that some people are influenced by other developmental/environmental factors.

      17. @peachyogurt yes, there are many reason why one would be gay, which is true, genetic or environmental (mostly from abusive cases) rather than having bonding time with certain sex. If you just stop at many causes for gay, all good. Just don’t include the bonding time with their daddy lol. Don’t mistake daddy issue with being gay lol. N don’t mistake the result for causation

      18. @peachyogurt i mean, sure. environmental & childhood developmental factors can contribute to sexual orientation in people. it’s a possibility.

        sexuality in general is a fluid concept. none of us are 100% heterosexual after all. we can’t be. without some degree of attraction towards our own gender, how can we get along with each other? it sounds to me like we’re biologically designed that way so we don’t all kill each other lol. so it’s not surprising when people can move in this spectrum of sexuality due to biological, environmental & developmental factors.

    1. @coralie recently I came across some research studies on gay males and the finding was that straight parents carry a gene that is passed on to their kids for their gayness. The parents are basically carriers even if they are straight.

      Another study I found stated that they had found that mothers who had thyroid issues when pregnant were more likely to have sons who were gay. Also, gay men are more likely to have thyroid illness

      As usual males are studied before females so there aren’t really any studies about women who are gay.

      So being gay, bi, etc. has more to do with hormonal/genetic factors in the womb and possible environmental stressors on moms. I heard of a study where in Germany there were more gay men were born at the end of WWll which would make sense if environmental stressors created imbalances in their moms.

      1. @ltbl Hi Itbl, I respect all the studies on genetic factors you have found and for sharing them. I wanted to note that I believe that during the time of war, fathers were absent in their children’s lives, so boys were not able to bond with their fathers. Or when the father returned, they had PTSD and suffered abuse from their father. Men who are gay are usually searching for what they are missing, acceptance/connection/bonding with the male. Again, I am not opposed to genetic factors, just that I do not totally rule out other possible environmental/developmental factors.

  2. Point is, his family tolerated and it is a positive thing.

    Seems a lot of artistes are coming out or outed as gays these days.

  3. Poor guy, so difficult when family doesn’t love you for who you are. Typical Asian parent guilt trip, threatening suicide. It’s terrible.

    I am glad they are finally accepting him more now, but even though it is difficult, they should have been better back then.

    1. @potatochip
      Exactly but you have to be in their shoes as they only have one son and he is supposed to carry on the family name and all that stuff. Since there is IVF and all so he can still have kids to carry on the family name even if he does not get married to a woman. My parents would been the same way if any of my brothers were gay.

      I am guessing they are more accepting now as they realized that they should love him no matter what. Also, times are different and people are more accepting of gays. Taiwan just legalized gay marriage so even if Aaron wanted to marry a guy, it should not be a problem. The main thing is for him to be happy and if they love him, they should let him be who he truly is.

      1. @hetieshou That is what my step cousin did with his partner so they could have kids.

        As a parent I don’t understand that kind of thinking. I know it’s cultural but for me the fact that my child is alive and healthy is the most important. Not all parents are lucky to live long lives with their children.

        When my daughter was growing up(she was born in 1999) the parents who I hung out with were very aware that we needed to know the sexual orientation of our child was so that if by chance they were gay or bi we could help them. The moms would sort of observe or openly ask their children. I had a discussion with my daughter when she mentioned the subject and I asked her and she told me she was straight and darned if she didn’t turn the question back on me. So far she has only dated boys so I assume the is her orientation or the majority of her orientation.

      2. @ltbl yea, after I got pregnant, all I was wishing for my little one was he would have a happy healthy life. Then I read sad story about gay people and their parents, and expressed my feeling to my husband, and he is like are you sure? And I’m like yes, only thing I would be worried is that he wouldn’t have kids, but not so that we can have our name carried on but so that he has someone taken care of him when he’s older, and know the joy of being a parents, and not missing out. But then there are many children that can be adopted, so I’m not worried so much about the children part. Main thing is he didn’t turn out to be an evil person xD

        Carrying on the family name is such an old tradition that should be abolished! Because if everyone thinks that way our earth won’t be able to handle it and that actually cause harm to whatever offspring we have left!

    2. @potatochip
      you’re so on point. when my MIL know that we are not going to have any more babies. she did the same thing. guilt trip, threatened us, begged, and totally and mentally broke down in front of me. she hasn’t tried suicide yet but i see that coming if there’s no more baby in a few more months (and neither myself or husband want anymore) i was so shocked and i felt bad and sad for her to for living her life being told that women are inferior to men. she’s surounded by people like that and cannot be changed….

      1. @m0m0 Hope your mother-in-law comes to terms with you and your husband’s decision. Does your husband have other siblings to take the baby pressure away from you? I know the older generation place a lot of emphasis on not only have kids, but also having a boy to carry on the family name.

        The most important thing is that you and your husband are in agreement, so you can manage your MIL’s behavior together.

      2. @m0m0 I am sorry to hear that. I hope she has reached acceptance now. As a parent myself, I understand how we have certain visions for our children. However, life is unexpected. My oldest is special needs and will never walk or talk. I just hope she and her siblings are happy and healthy.

        As parents, we need to put aside those pre-conceived ideas and just do our job to love and support them unconditionally.

  4. I used to write fanfictions of Aaron yan with other actresses. guess my fantasies will remain that way forever.

    1. @sugadough Gay men can still be sexy so your fanfictions weren’t for not. I’ve had a few crushes which weren’t going to lead to anything obviously. Time will tell as more information comes out if he is gay or fluid.

  5. I didnt know Aaron Yan came out. Anyway, sad to see how homosexuality is still seen in such a way. And threatening and hurtng your own family because of something they cant change is extremely selfish.

  6. I’m playing catch up but homosexuality (bisexuality, etc) are all nature not nurture even if you have a few examples to support your nurture claim.

    When people “find out” they’re gay, it doesn’t mean they just woke up one day and decide “I’m gay.” Do young children automatically think they’re straight? Not necessarily, but b/c being straight is the norm and we see that in society, we likely accept that until we can think for ourselves. A child could know he or she is gay early on without rly understanding that feeling. Like I didn’t think about boys until i had my first crush in 1st grade. Does that make sense?

    And if you’re talking about people who dealt with trauma and then fall for the other sex (gay to straight, straight to gay), they are probably bisexual. I personally believe sexuality is fluid. I’ve only dated men but I find myself attracted to women as well. Even if you choose not to date a specific sex, it doesn’t mean you’re 100% gay or straight (though there are obviously people on both extreme ends).

    1. @lyu310
      i’ve heard the theory that sexuality may be fluid. Personally, I’ve only been attracted to men. I’ve seem very pretty women but I want to be like them rather than being with one…. Most of the time, I think it’s jealousy too just seeing a prettier woman. wanting to pick out the flaws rather than praising. for men on the other side, i can day dream about the ones that i am attracted to all day long like he’s prince charming.

    2. @lyu310

      I am in agreement with this. It’s fine to educate oneself about nature vs nurture in regards to sexuality, but this way of explaining sexuality can be dangerous. If it is believed that one’s environment influences or causes sexual identity, then the logical conclusion would be to try to influence the environment to “fix” homosexuality…which some ppl believe you can.

      I didn’t wake up one day and decided that I want to be queer. It just never occurred to me that marriage was only between men and women. Also, I am not refuting that there are scientific studies that claim that homosexuality can be passed through one’s lineage. I don’t know about that really. What I do know is that there are families that will not allow their children to marry the one they love because the one they loves has a questionable family medical history i.e. homosexuality and mental illness. That is dangerous and unfortunate.

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